From Behind Closed Doors
by mocothecat4218
Summary: As they grow up, Elsa writes her sister letters which she doesn't at first intend to send, explaining why, among other things, she can't build snowmen with her anymore-Frozen's lost years. Letters are arranged chronologically by date. The seventeenth letter is now up: Elsa writes about the reunion, where she felt normal for the first time in years-and got to talk to Anna as well.
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to my first ever Frozen fanfiction!**

**I have a full Frozen story that is written and ready to be uploaded. I should be putting it up sometime soon. Until then, I've decided to start this story to test the waters a little bit. Constructive criticism is always welcome.**

**Fun fact: I saw Frozen about a month after it came out, before all the hype surrounding it had really picked up speed. I just went to Disneyworld, which has a bunch of Frozen stuff, so I had to write this and get it out of my head.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Frozen.**

**I'll shut up now so that you can read the story.**

**Enjoy!**

**First letter: Elsa is twelve, Anna is nine.**

November 12th, 1797

Dear Anna,

I've decided to start writing you letters. I have two reasons for this, the first being that there isn't a whole lot to do in this room all day. I mean, once my lessons are over I can read, write, or look out the window, so sometimes I get a little bored. I'm not complaining though-the view out my bedroom room is excellent. The second reason is more important, though. I want you to hear the story from my point of view. I want you to know why I can't build a snowman with you. I don't know if you'll ever read these letters or what you'll think of me when you do. What I do know is that this doesn't even begin to make up for the four years that have gone past since I've last talked to you, but I want to try. I think you deserve an explanation: I stay in my room all day to protect you…from myself.

In case you don't know by now, I have ice powers. I've had them since birth, and they enable me to summon ice and snow at will, even on the hottest of summer days. Remember all the fun times we used to have as little kids, building snowmen and ice skating? That was because of me. We weren't really outside at all. You used to wake me up in the middle of the night and I'd freeze the Great Ballroom so we could play in it. You loved that, so maybe that's why we kept doing it. You thought my powers were special, not dangerous. Around you I felt special, too…not like I was a freak. I have to thank you for that. It really helped, especially right after the accident when I hated my powers and everything about them.

Anyway, one night we invented a new game-I'd create giant mounds of snow for you to jump on to. You loved it and kept jumping higher and faster. I'm so sorry, Anna…I couldn't keep up. You were falling, so I tried to make another mound for you to land on. Unfortunately, I slipped on some of my ice and my shot went off course. Instead of creating a light, fluffy mound for you, I struck you in the head.

It was terrible. Mother and Father took you to see some trolls that live in the mountains. They helped you, but they had to modify your memory. That's why you don't remember that I have powers. I'm not supposed to tell you about them, and I'm not supposed to play with you anymore. What if something like that were to happen again? What if, this time, I froze your heart instead of your head?

Maybe things wouldn't be so bad if I could learn how to control my powers, but I can't-and they're only getting stronger. When I was little, it was only a few flakes at a time, but now…I think I could summon a small blizzard if I wanted to. It's scary…what if I do something I don't want to do? What if I hurt someone? Don't get me wrong, my powers are great. Sometimes, only once in a great while, I freeze my bedroom floor so I can go ice skating. I love ice skating, especially because I don't need skates. I'd love to teach you how to skate, Anna. I've seen you skating on the front lawn in the winter sometimes. Don't take this the wrong way, but there's room for improvement.

The ice isn't fun when I get worried or stressed, though. That's when it gets out of control and I lose it. Sometimes, I can't melt the snow I create. I don't want something like that to happen while I'm with you. I don't want to hurt you, or anyone else.

I like to watch the kingdom from my window a lot. Sometimes I see you, as you go into town or to a friend's house. I saw when that boy cut off the end of your braid yesterday. I got so mad that the floor of my room didn't thaw out for three hours. The maids weren't happy to have to mop up all that water. I would've helped, but they wouldn't let me. I guess they thought I'd done enough damage for one day. I hid in the library for a while after that. A word of advice, Anna: if you need to sort things out, go to the library. It's quiet and usually deserted, so it's a relaxing place to think. Not to mention that the shelves are stocked with all kinds of fascinating books! However, from what I've heard it seems like you prefer the company of people to books. That must be nice.

I'm getting off topic again. I still think that your hair looks nice even with the hair gone. Besides, it'll grow back. Hair always does.

When it snows, do you still like to go sledding down that big hill at the edge of town? I remember when we used to climb the hill and then sled all the way down Main Street. I've always wanted to do that again. Sometimes I go outside when it snows. I like to lie in a snowbank and try to spot snowmen in the clouds.

Speaking of which, I'm assuming you still like to build snowmen,right? Do you remember Olaf at all? You drew me a picture of him a couple years ago. It's a very childlike drawing-you'd hate it if you were to see it now. I love it, though. It's really cute. It hangs across the room from my bed so that I can see it first thing in the morning and right before I go to sleep at night.

Do you still have snowball fights with Father? Do you ever play with the village kids, or have they started staying away from you because you're royalty and they're not? That happened a little bit with me. I wish I could have stayed friends with them. Most of them were really nice, and it was nice to play with people who didn't know how...'special' I really was.

It's weird-most of what I know about you are what Mother and Father tell me. They keep me informed about you, which I'm grateful for. I like to know how you're doing and what you like. I'm going to ask if I can go into the market this year and buy you a birthday present myself. It'll be winter, so if I do accidentally create some snow, it'll be easily mistaken for some flurries. It would be nice to go to town again. That's not for months, though-there's still lots of time to prepare.

I think I will ask Father if I can give this to you, even though he'll probably say no. Our parents want to protect you just as much as I do. I think they sometimes worry that I'll hurt you, even though they'd never say so. I don't want to, and I certainly would never try to. I guess my powers are a blessing, but sometimes they seem more like a curse.

In conclusion, yes. I do want to build a snowman. I want to build one with you more than anything. But I can't because I want you to be safe. Does that make sense? I hope I did all right with this letter. I hope I didn't stray off topic too much. My writing tutor says that I tend to do that. Maybe that'll change as I get older.

Anyway, I love you. I hope you're having a great summer. Wave at me sometime when you're outside, will you? I'll see you, even if I don't wave back right away. And don't worry-I won't tell Mother that you stole her diamond broach and accidentally dropped it into the river. Even though I don't ever see you, I'll still keep your secrets.

Love,

Elsa

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	2. Early Memories

**Thanks to everyone who read the first letter! The second letter is written approximately two weeks after the first one.**

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November 27th, 1797

Dear Anna,

I have a little gap in between lessons when I don't have to do anything, so I figured I'd write you another letter.

I asked Father if I could send the first one. I really thought he'd say yes. I'd copied the letter onto good stationary and put it in an envelope and sealed it and everything, but he said that it would be best-for both you and me-if I held onto it for a while until you're older. That was really hard to do, but I managed to put the letter away in a white box with a blue lid. It used to hold baby clothes when I was younger, but after that it was pushed under the bed and forgotten about for a long time. Not anymore, though. I plan to fill it with letters.

Imagine the happiest day of your life. Was it that time you got a pair of new skates for your birthday, or the time we went up north to meet our grandparents? I guess it doesn't really matter, as long as you're imagining it. Do you remember how you felt? Now multiply that feeling by ten. Now fifteen. Now twenty. You're still not even close to how I felt the first time I saw you, when you were just a little baby.

It was no big secret that I was going to be getting a little sister or brother. Mother and Father made sure I knew months in advance. Mother even let me help decorate the nursery. I picked out the color of the walls and your bed sheets-green. I thought you would like them. I guess you did because you kept the bed sheets when we moved into our room after your second birthday. In case you're reading this years from now and you don't remember what your old sheets used to look like, I'll remind you: they're a deep green with leaf motifs on them. Do you still sleep with them or have you gotten new ones? I guess you're growing up now and green might not be your favorite color anymore, but it certainly was when you were a baby. Green and pink.

I took special care in making sure that the house was ready for you. I went shopping in town for toys and games for you and I told everyone I met about how excited I was to get a younger sibling. Of course, I'm sure that they already knew, but they humored me and let me prattle on about the nursery and the toys-dolls for a girl and stuffed animals for a boy.

Mother and Father also talked to me a lot about how the new baby was going to need a lot of care and attention, especially at first, and how they might not have as much time for me as they used to, but that didn't mean that they loved me any less. That was fine by me, especially because I wanted to help, too. I think our parents were always afraid that I'd be jealous of you, but I wasn't. Not at all, in fact.

When you came, I was the third person you saw, after Mother and Father. You don't remember that, I'm sure. However, I remember how you looked at me, with your big, blue, and innocent eyes. In that moment, I just wanted to protect you and keep you safe-and I still do. I got to hold you that day, too. Mother and Father were carefully watching the entire time, of course. I was so scared that I was going to do something wrong, like maybe drop you or freeze you. I didn't, thank goodness. In fact, I didn't have to worry about my powers at all. Around you, it seemed like I could control them. They never got out of hand.

From that very first moment, we were inseparable. I wanted to spend as much time with you as I could. I played with you and rocked you until you went to sleep at night. Until you started sleeping through the night, you were a really fussy baby. It seemed like nothing was ever right for you-your bottle was too hot or it was too cold, your blanket was too warm or not warm enough, your clothes were too itchy or too uncomfortable. You usually woke up at least five times a night. Our parents didn't like that, as they were pretty much run ragged attending to you. Mother had the idea of teaching me how to warm up a bottle for you and how to change your diaper so I could handle you at night sometimes, while Mother and Father got some sleep. I think that's when I moved into the bedroom we shared, so I could be closer to the nursery. Mother and Father seemed to think we had some sort of connection. Maybe we did. I'm certainly not saying we didn't-maybe we still do.

Sometimes, I can tell when you're upset, like when you did really badly on that French test. I wish I could have helped you. I learned French ages ago. Conjugating verbs can be tricky at first, but you just need to get the hang of it. I'd love to teach you how. I love French. Then again, I love all the languages I've learned-and there are a lot of them.

Anyway, I could usually tell when you were upset and acted accordingly. Sometimes, I created flurries to cheer you up. You loved those flurries better than any of your toys or gifts that you got as a baby, which I thought was pretty great. I was still learning about my powers and testing their limits. I didn't know what they could do, and I did a lot of practicing alone-not near you, obviously.

Even when you became a toddler, you still had trouble sleeping sometimes. There was a spell of about eight months where you had a nightmare almost every night. I tried to comfort you to the best of my ability, but I didn't really have nightmares in those days. I didn't have any reason to. Now I have them sometimes, though. Not every night, but close enough. I made a lot of flurries for you in those days. Flurries helped calm you down.

I think it's always been weird-I have ice powers, but my birthday is in the middle of the summer. You're perfectly normal, but your birthday is in the winter. I can't believe that you'll be ten in a few months. Ten years old…you're almost grown up, aren't you?

Meanwhile, I'll be thirteen this July. I always enjoy the cards you make me. I like to see how they progress. I thought last year's was especially great. You drew a picture of us holding hands and then wrote the word Sisters across the top, along with the usual happy birthday and best wishes. I don't think you know how much it meant to me.

Sorry that this letter wasn't as long as the other one, but my other tutor just came back, and she's really strict. I'll have to sign off, but I'm still going to seal this and pretend to send it.

Mother told me that you've already started to plan your birthday. I hope you aren't planning on choosing any flavor of cake other than chocolate. I think you know that nothing beats chocolate, though. I shouldn't be worried.

Love,

Elsa

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** I should update tomorrow, Saturday at the latest.**


	3. Skating, Parties, and Cousins

**Thanks to IAmOneMagicVortex for your review and to everyone else who is following this story! As promised, I am updating early.**

**Remember that reviews=early updates :)**

**Disclaimer for this chapter: I don't own Tangled, either.**

December 5th, 1797

Dear Anna,

Since you know that I keep your secrets, I'm trusting you to keep one of mine. It's not as big as the one about my ice powers or anything, but it's still a secret. If you tell Mother and Father, I'd probably get in quite a bit of trouble, since I'm not supposed to use my ice powers in public. But I had to. It was the middle of the night, no one else was around, and I really didn't mean to.

It snowed last night for the first time this year, and I couldn't sleep. It's not that I was having nightmares or anything, but I just couldn't get to sleep. Not for lack of trying though.

So, anyway, I looked out the window at probably around midnight and it was snowing. It wasn't even snowing very hard. The flakes of snow were just drifting lazily down from the sky and coming to rest lightly on the grass of the back lawn. Everything looked like it had been neatly frosted by a master cake decorator, and the new snow sparkled in the sunlight. It almost looked…magical.

After that, I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep at all-not when there was all that new snow out there just waiting for me. I crept downstairs as fast as I could and out through the back door. I don't think anyone saw me, or if they did they didn't stop me.

A feeling I can't quite describe came over me as I stood in the yard, staring up at the night sky as snowflakes landed on my clothes and hair. I felt free and happy like I haven't in years-since that night in the ballroom, actually. It was amazing. I played outside for a long time. I made snow angels, built snowmen, and created some enchanted snowballs that followed me around wherever I went. I had a lot of fun watching them come at me and then leaping behind a tree just in time so they smashed on the tree bark. My boots and coat got soaked, but I never got cold. The cold didn't seem to reach me.

I didn't want to go inside when it started to get light out, but I knew I would have to. I didn't want to get in trouble or make our parents upset. They have enough to worry about, and I don't want to do anything to add to their burden. So, I reluctantly knocked down the snowmen and dismantled them until they were fine powder again, stamped out the snow angels, and destroyed the last few snowballs. Then I slipped back inside and up to my room. Actually, I take that back. First I went to the kitchen to make myself a cup of hot chocolate. I drank some of it, but spilled most of it on my coat. Now no one can question why it's in the wash and soaking wet. If anyone asks, I tried to get the stains out myself and it really didn't go well. There's not much I can do for my boots though. I just pushed them to the back of the hall closet and am hoping desperately that no one will find them before they fully dry out.

Speaking of which, Father says I can go to the village market in a couple of weeks to buy you a birthday present! I'm so excited. I've been getting order papers from every merchant I can think of and have been spending hours poring over pages of pictures of their best works, trying to find the perfect gift for you. I assume that you're too old for dolls, so I guess I'll have to stop making you a new doll each year. Remember my first attempt when I was five? The hair unraveled just before I went to give it to you and then it all fell off. That was probably the first time I had a real panic attack. I'd spent weeks working on that doll because I wanted it to be perfect. You deserved a perfect first birthday, and now I'd ruined it.

You loved that doll though, more than any present you got that night. You carried it around with you everywhere-outside, inside, at breakfast and at bedtime. You still loved it even though it didn't have hair anymore. I think my attempts have gotten progressively better since then, though. Last year, Father offered to order some real porcelain for me so I could make you a porcelain doll, but I declined. I've always made you a yarn doll. Maybe I was being selfish, but I didn't want things to change.

I could go on and on about birthdays, but I won't-not in this letter at least. I'll save that for your birthday letter. I will be writing you one, rest assured.

I hear that you're going to a skating party with some of your friends tomorrow. I hope you have fun. The last time I was at a skating party was that one Mother hosted when her sister was visiting from Corona with our cousin, Rapunzel. That was almost 8 years ago now. The two of you could barely crawl. We had a lot of fun slipping and sliding around on the ice. I wasn't very good at skating yet, so I couldn't really help you. We mostly just slid around on the ice and laughed like crazy when we fell over-which happened a lot.

That used to be Mother's favorite way to entertain people-by throwing skating parties. I've seen pictures of her as a girl-she was quite the skating champion in her day. She won all sorts of competitions all over the continent facing tons of different competitors. She actually met Father at a skating contest. She beat him by half a point. You know that Father really likes to win-at everything. He said a few things that he later regretted and he and Mother got into a huge fight. It wasn't until Mother came to Arendelle on her parents' goodwill tour a couple of years later that they really started to become friends.

After their marriage, Mother still loved to throw skating parties. I went to a lot of them as a little girl. I learned to keep my balance on the ice almost as soon as I could walk-not just because of my ice powers but because I was also learning from the best. However, I got easily distracted-especially by you, once you were born. I got a pair of skates for my third birthday. I was so proud, because I knew that that meant I could be a figure skater like Mother. I'd seen her skate and twirl across the ice, and I was excited to do things like that too.

I only wore those skates a few times though. Soon we learned that I can skate on ice without skates. Another helpful thing that my power can do.

It's amazing how much things have changed now though. Rapunzel went missing years ago. Mother and Father have so much to do and so many people to entertain that they barely have time for anything else, much less throwing lavish parties. Someday, when you're queen, I hope that you throw a lot of parties. Parties really bring people together.

I've decided that I'm going to share a memory from before the accident with you every time I write, sort of like a closing. This memory is from the time that Rapunzel and her mother came to visit.

You got along with Rapunzel very well. You were alike in a lot of ways-you were both cheerful and excitable toddlers. Actually, you were a little too alike. The two of you could never get to sleep when you were in the same room. I don't even know why-you never talked to each other. You'd just look at each other from in your beds and start laughing. We tried to separate you, but you wouldn't sleep then, either. You'd just whine and complain until you eventually ended up back together. Then I had the bright idea to take you both to see the Northern Lights.

I'd found from years of experimenting that the best spot to watch these lights was from the roof under our room. Unfortunately, our parents would never let us-much less Rapunzel-go up on the roof alone, especially at night. That's one of the first times I can remember directly disobeying our parents, but I was tired and I had a feeling that there was no way the two of you would be going to sleep any other way.

So, once I was certain that all the adults were asleep, I took you out onto the roof one by one. I was worried that one of you would fall off, but thankfully you stayed very still and quiet. And for good reason, too. Anyone who's seen the Northern Lights themselves will say that they have a magic all their own. We were out there for about twenty minutes and you both fell asleep. I got you both back into the room without incident, and I don't think our parents ever found out what we did.

Sorry that I talk about magic so much. It's just that, since I have powers of my own, I really think that ordinary things can have magic too. Not the same kind of magic as I have, but a special kind that belongs to them and them alone. I think everything and everyone has some kind of magic-yes Anna, even you. Undoubtedly you feel a little left out sometimes and probably hurt because my bedroom door is closed all the time. I want you to know that you have magic, too. Sure, not everyone can see it, like a bunch of snowflakes, but they can feel it. Ever notice how everyone who talks to you leaves with a smile? You make people feel happy and comfortable. You make them want to spend more time around you because you're so friendly. That's a special kind of magic in itself, one that not everyone has.

Just between us, I'd trade anything for it.

Love,

Elsa

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	4. Winter Holidays

**Thanks so much to IAmOneMagicVortex and Letting It Go for reviewing and to everyone else who followed and favorited! **

**Reviews=early updates. I may update again later today if I get some feedback.**

**Anyway, on to the story!**

December 14th, 1797

Dear Anna,

I heard that you woke up sick this morning and that you can't go see that play you wanted to see at the theater. I'm really sorry about that. I know that you were looking forward to it a lot. I'm sure that this probably will sound dumb to you, but you'll get better soon and you'll be able to see the play another day. I'm sure the play's company wouldn't mind putting on an extra performance for you.

I bought your birthday present! I went out to the market in the afternoon to go shopping for the first time in four years. I was so excited to go and to meet everyone.

Doubtless you've been to the market hundreds of times, so you already know what it's like to be standing in the middle of the market square, surrounded by vendors hawking their wares, laughing children, and barking dogs. It was all very new to me, though. For a while I just stood in the street and didn't move. I was taking everything in and trying to keep my emotions under control at the same time. I might have accidentally produced some snow because I was so excited, but it was so busy that I'm sure no one noticed. I spent hours walking among the stalls and comparing prices. Eventually, I found you a great present. I won't tell you what it is though, because that would ruin the surprise, but I'm sure you'll love it.

I saw them bringing in the holiday tree this morning. Is it just me, or does it seem bigger than it has been in past years? It looks almost like a monster made out of bark and pine needles-but I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun decorating it. Has Mother brought down the big boxes of ornaments and strands of tinsel from the attic yet? Have you started to string cranberries? Probably not, since you're sick. I hope you do soon. The holiday season needs a few strings of cranberries to be complete, in my opinion at least. Mother brought me up a basket of cranberries and some needle and thread so I can string some, too. This way I can feel like a part of the family, anticipating and getting ready for the winter holidays.

I remember when there used to be that huge pine tree in the town center. Every year the villagers used to make it into the most festive holiday tree they could. Little children made small ornaments depicting boats and flowers to hang on its branches-and some of the adults helped, too. On Christmas Eve, there was a huge tree decorating party-and everyone and their cousins were invited. It was a really nice night-we sang carols and hung ornaments on the branches. You and I always took charge of stringing cranberries. We'd commandeer a few of our friends to help us and we'd sit with them and talk for hours as we made strand upon strand of cranberries. You were around three then, and I had to give you a wooden needle to make sure that you didn't accidentally decapitate yourself with a regular one. You had to apply a lot more force to make it go through the berry though, but that wasn't a problem for you. Actually, you sometimes applied too much force and the berries exploded and juice got everywhere. No one minded, though. You don't get upset by little things like some cranberry juice on Christmas Eve.

A few years ago, they cut the tree down for trade purposes. People got very upset. They'd thought of that tree as part of our town for a long, long time-and they weren't too keen to see it go. Mother and Father were afraid there would be riots, but people were calm and kept their heads-mostly. There were a couple fights, but things went back to normal after that. Well, almost normal, actually. We had to say farewell to a treasured holiday tradition. They've planted another seed, right where the old tree used to be. It'll take years and years to grow, though. We probably won't be able to have a proper holiday tree trimming party for at least twenty years-which seems like way too long.

Mother said I could help her bake cookies in the kitchen this year-and we need a lot of cookies. Mother likes to donate to every charity that she can think of, and every year around this time she bakes them big boxes of cookies that probably last them until next year December-or at least until July. My favorite cookies that we make are the triple chocolate ones. I assume you've had them before-chocolate cookies stuffed with chocolate chips with a chocolate mousse filling. They're really good, especially since we only make them once a year. I love to bake cookies. Other things…not so much.

I'm starting piano lessons in January-a week after your birthday. I'm really excited. I've seen piano players play concertos at the concert hall. It's amazing how they can play music like that and make it look effortless. They don't think about where they put their fingers because they know the song inside and out. I want to be able to play music like that one day, but it will take a lot of work and practice. I played the new piano we got for a while last night, just fingering chords and playing scales. I don't know if you heard me or not, but I'm sure I sounded awful. That should change in a couple of months, though. I already have some songs picked out to play sometime.

By the way, I stopped by our room last night. You weren't there, of course-you were still downstairs. I didn't touch any of your things; I just stood by the window and looked out at the night. I remembered how I use to stand at that very window with you years ago and point out the constellations. Things have changed in our room since I was there last. Where my bed used to be, you now have a craft table that's cluttered with paper, art supplies, and unfinished projects. The wall where I used to hang all of my drawings is now filled with all the birthday cards I've given you over the years. My dolls have a shelf of their own over your bed. Yes, you still have the hairless one from your first birthday. It seems you haven't forgotten about me yet. I know it's just a matter of time though. How can you still love me if we never see each other and if I go out of my way not to spend time with you?

I know that it doesn't to dwell on things like that, though. What's important is that I'm still here for you, Anna-though I know it doesn't seem like it most of the time. I'm not going anywhere.

On a happier note, we have lots to look forward to in the new year. There's your birthday, first of all. Then we're going to our grandparents' house up north. There's going to be a new school year in the fall and we'll both learn new things. I'm going to start diplomacy and maybe I'll go on some trips to visit other kingdoms toward the end of the year. I think we'll have a lot of fun this year. Maybe I'll get to see you more often.

For the closing memory, I'm going to choose another time that you were sick. You just had a touch of the flu, but you were sneezing all the time, you threw up every few hours, and you looked absolutely miserable. I took the day off from my studies so I could take care of you-get you soup and fluff your pillows, basically.

I tried to keep you entertained by reading books to you, as you were still too young to read them yourself. You weren't as big a reader as I was, but you still loved to hear a good story every now and then. We read a lot of books that day. You listened attentively all the time, even when the doctors came to check your temperature and make sure you were doing okay. I almost lost my voice a few times, but I didn't care-you were happy-or at least as happy as you could be, under the circumstances, and that's what mattered.

The next day, you were doing a lot better and by day three you had made a full recovery. However, you insisted that I read you a book before you went to sleep every night, which you'd never done before. I didn't mind though. I wanted to show you all of my favorite books. It kind of became our nightly tradition-except when I got sick with the same thing you had a week later.

Happy holidays, Anna. In case I'm too busy to see you before the new year starts, I just want to tell you that you're the best sister a girl like me could hope to have. You're very kind and caring. Best of all, you understand. You keep asking me to build a snowman, even if I say that I don't want to. You're very persistent. Persistence is a good quality to have. I hope you continue to cultivate it as you grow older.

Thanks for another great year.

Love,

Elsa

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**Happy Labor Day!**


	5. Birthdays and Unicorns

**Early update-just because :)**

**These letters will go up until Elsa's coronation and possibly after.**

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January 8th, 1798

Dear Anna,

Today is your tenth birthday! You've been practically jumping off the walls all day. You stopped by a few times to ask if I wanted to come downstairs and play with your new presents with you. You got a lot-a few dolls, some books-including one on French grammar-, some new dresses, and a new winter coat. I love your coat-it's green with yellow trim and it looks really nice on you.

I hope I didn't get you too upset when I said I was busy. I might have come across a bit sharp, which wasn't what I was going for at all. I was just working on a hard math problem and I didn't have as much patience for interruptions as I usually have. I'm sorry about that. I'm also sorry that I can't come downstairs in the first place. I've been itching to try out your new sled. It looks as if it will go very fast, which are the best kinds of sleds. Someday we'll have to sledding again.

Maybe I'll be able to control my powers then.

I lost control last night. I don't know what happened. One moment I was perfectly fine, and then the next my room was covered in ice. I was so scared. I didn't know what to do or how it had happened. I have a pair of gloves that I usually wear. They help me to keep my powers in check, but they didn't do anything then. I was trying to thaw the room, but I wasn't sure how. Father tried to help me, but he only made things worse. I thought I was going to hurt him, just like I hurt you. Lately, I've been worrying about what would happen if I killed someone with my ice powers-you know, accidentally. What if I accidentally killed our parents or something?

That's never going to happen, though. I'll make sure of it. If that means I have to shut myself away even more, then that's what I'll do. I will never hurt anyone with my powers again.

I shouldn't be talking about things like that on your birthday, though. Today's a happy day-the day that we celebrate your continued presence in our lives-for ten years now! Ten years full of joy and laughter-both for our family and for the kingdom at large. Ten years of happy memories.

Remember that time we went to the theater for your birthday? We saw that opera about the general and his wife. I loved it. It was so fascinating and complex. You didn't like it, though. You said it was the most boring thing you'd ever done-including going shoe shopping with Mother. In fact, you kind of thought that it ruined your birthday. That night, we went down to the ballroom for the first time. That was when you saw exactly what my powers could really do.

The next year, we took a sleigh ride around town. You and I had a lot of fun pointing out funny-looking landmarks to each other-like that one that looked like a sheep with an extra leg and that huge tree surrounded by a bunch of little trees. That was also the year you wanted a pet reindeer. I had fun imagining the mess it would make if you did get one. I'm sure it would have given you plenty to talk about with your friends, though.

For your fifth birthday, we took a picnic up to the North Mountain. We walked for most of the morning, until you stubbornly refused to take another step. Then we spread out a blanket on the snow even though you were all really cold and we ate cold sandwiches and almost frozen carrot cake. You could see the entire kingdom from that spot-the castle, the fjords, even all the buildings of the city. They were tiny, like little toys for girls like you to play with. I could almost imagine someone making paper people to live in this paper city with a beautiful paper landscape in the background. It was honestly one of the most amazing things I've ever seen.

That was the last birthday we spent together.

I don't really know what your last handful of birthdays have been like. I mean, I know that a few times you've gone places with friends and things like that, but I haven't been there with you. Every year, I'd think of something I'd like to do with you for your birthday, if I could. This year, I'd take you to a wide open field so we could play in the snow. If you'd asked me to use my magic again, I would. I'd make it snow so we'd always have soft powder to play in. We'd both laugh and have a lot of fun. Then we'd come back and I'd make us both cups of hot chocolate that were so warm that they burnt our hands and then we'd watch the Northern Lights.

It doesn't work like that, though. Now I have to rely on your friends and our parents to dream up birthday fun for you. I wish I could be with you, especially since ten is such an important birthday. Ten is when you realize that your childhood won't last forever. Ten is when you actually start to contemplate the impending mystery of adulthood.

You just slid that French book under my door. There's a note attached that says _Dear Elsa, I think you'll like this more than I will. Love from your sister, Anna_. You're so sweet. I will treasure this book of French conjugations and it will go on my shelf of books that I really love. I promise you'll never see it again if you don't want to.

Sometimes I wonder what things will be like when I'm the queen. Undoubtedly, I'll be really nervous and shy. I hope you'll still be around so you can talk to people for me. You've always been better at that. You would know exactly what to say. You wouldn't even have to worry about sounding dumb. Sure, I know that you stutter sometimes when you're nervous, but your words sound more tender and heartfelt than mine. I see you surrounded by your friends and I wonder how you do it. I always freeze up around people (no pun intended).

The more I write, the more I realize what a terrible sister I really am. I mean, it's your birthday and I should be celebrating with you. I should be helping you eat your chocolate cake and complimenting you on how you look in all your nice new outfits. I should be reading your new books while you're not looking. I should be doing all the things I imagine that sisters do for each other on their birthdays. I shouldn't be in my room writing a letter that you won't read for years now.

It just started snowing again. I had to put the paper away for a few minutes so it wouldn't get all wet.

And now I remember how I could never be that sister. I can't because I love you too much. I wouldn't want to ruin your birthday. You're much better without me-and my powers. You're happy and safe and that's all that matters.

I remember when you still let me pick you up and cuddle you, when you still found the world a big and sometimes scary place. I always tried to be there for you no matter what-if you needed someone to laugh with, cry with, or dream about the future with. You always talked about how, when you were older, you would build a castle in the sky-a pink castle that was filled with unicorns and kittens. You asked me more times than I could count to come and live with you in that palace with you. I'd get my own unicorn named Fluffy who would act like our security guard-he'd control who would be able to come into the palace. Once you made a complete list of everyone who'd be able to come in-it turned out to be everyone you knew. You also said you'd have a unicorn of your own named Sweetnessandrainbows. All one word. Just like that.

I hope you haven't forgotten that palace in the clouds. I'm looking forward to seeing it-and my unicorn. I hope that you never let go of your dreams, Anna-no matter how childish they might seem to you now. In hard times, they can be the only thing that keeps us going-but I hope you never have any of those.

I promise you that this year I will continue to be the best sister I can possibly be and that I'll do what's best for you-no matter how hard it is-because I love you and I want you to be happy. Nothing will ever be more important to me than that. Ever. Happy birthday, Anna. Here's to many more happy years to come.

Love,

Elsa

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	6. Ice Powers

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January 24th, 1798

Dear Anna,

I had my first piano lesson today. An instructor came to the palace from Corona to teach me. His name is Johan and he's really nice. We didn't do a lot-I played a few songs and learned a lot about how the piano works. It's really a fascinating instrument-more complex than you might think. He gave me some things to practice and perfect before our next lesson and I worked on them for almost two hours, if you can believe that. I love the piano. I get an amazing feeling when I play a song perfectly. I've kind of become obsessed with it now, and try to reach that level of perfection on each of my songs. I hope you have that kind of feeling one day-whether it's from a piano, from a friendship (or something more), or even upon finishing a good book.

There was a short warm spell today. It was really warm-so warm that I saw you go outside without a jacket. Most of the snow was melted. Of course, it'll snow again soon, but the nice weather was a welcome break, even for me. Especially because warm days in the middle of winter don't happen very often. This is the first warm spell we've had in about five years.

Anna, if you want me to keep my sanity, please don't sing that song about building a snowman. Seriously, whenever I hear that song I feel like my insides are slowly dying from guilt and longing. It feels like I've explained things to you almost a dozen times, but then I have to remember that you haven't read these letters at all. You don't know what I think about when I go to sleep at night, how I imagine myself breaking the news to you and how I imagine you taking it-in all sorts of ways. It's kind of amazing, really, that you're still in the dark about all of this. You've been left out. I can only imagine how that must feel like, to want to play with your sister all the time but to not be able to because she always has her bedroom door shut. I hope you don't think that it's because of something that you did, because that's not it at all. I really don't want you to feel hurt or guilty, but I'm not sure how to reach out to you. If I could, I would. Believe me, this separation is as hard on me as it is on you.

Sometimes I wonder what it's going to be like when I have to actually interact with other people. Father tells me not to worry about it, but I still do. He said he'll take me to visit some neighboring kingdoms so I can meet some new children my age, because they'll be the kinds of people that I'll be trading and negotiating with someday. I'm excited, but I'm also really nervous. What if something goes wrong while I'm on the trip?

Sometimes I really envy you. I know you probably think that's crazy, since I have ice powers. Everyone I know would love to have ice powers like mine, but what they don't get is how hard it is to have this 'blessing', especially since it's more like a curse. I have to worry about it all the time, and whether or not I'm going to hurt anyone. Then I think about how the trolls told me that fear will be my enemy and I worry even more. I'm trying to keep it in, but it doesn't always work-and trying to calm down only make things worse.

Have you ever heard the mantra 'conceal, don't feel'? That is the basis for my life. With conceal, don't feel, I don't have to think about my powers so much-because the point of the exercise is not to think. Whenever I get upset or stressed, I'm supposed to force my feelings down deep inside myself where they won't affect me. When they don't affect me, my ice powers stay in control. Everything is fine again. Usually, it works-or at least it did. I'm basically a teenager now, so my emotions are running higher than ever. This isn't a problem for normal people, but it's a huge issue for me, because it becomes harder and harder to conceal my feelings.

There's a room in the back of the castle, on the lowest level, next to the dungeons. It's not very assuming-it has plain gray walls, a single wooden bench, and a few tattered old books. However, no one is allowed in it except for me, because it's my safe spot. That's where I go when my powers really get out of hand. The door can be locked from the outside so someone can lock me in and I can stay in there until I calm down. It really helps me to know that I'm locked up so that I can't hurt anyone, but also that I'm in control. If I want to come out, I knock on the door, and a maid stationed nearby will let me out. It's as easy as that.

Some people think that's terrible, how I lock myself up like that. I don't see why though. I'm a monster-at least, I can be. It's a last resort, in case something were to go terribly, terribly wrong and I had to stop myself.

I've spent a lot of time in the library scanning old books full of prophecies to make sure that none mention an eternal winter or psychotic snow queen or anything like that. So far, I haven't found anything, but you can never be too careful. I've also asked Mother and Father a lot of questions, especially as I've gotten older, about my ice powers and how I got them.

Here's the story: years before I was born, Mother had learned that she was pregnant with a baby. Everyone was super excited-the new baby would be the first heir to the throne. The kingdom spent months preparing for the baby-seamstresses made clothes and toymakers made toys. Everyone was sure that she was going to be the most perfect baby in the world.

And she was. The new baby was perfect from the moment she was born. She had brown hair like Mother's, but she had Father's eye color and other facial features. She was sweet and friendly to everyone, like a ray of sunshine-like you, Anna. Her name was Lina, and everyone loved her.

Then, after only a year, Lina fell gravely ill and died two days after her first birthday. The kingdom mourned for weeks, especially our parents. They thought they had done something wrong to cause Lina to get sick, and they didn't want to make the same mistake again.

So, the next time Mother got pregnant, they made sure to do everything right. They still worried, though they did everything they could. They didn't want their next baby to die prematurely. Then, three months before the baby was to be born, a man came to town with a wagon full of homemade potions and elixirs. He gave Mother a potion to drink each night before she went to bed to ensure that the baby would be healthy. The potion was fake, of course-made of a bunch of herbs mashed together just to get some money. It never really had any helpful properties, but it wasn't supposed to harm the new baby, either. Surprisingly, it did neither.

Something in the potion reacted with something in the new baby's body, and when the baby finally was born she was very, very sick. For almost a week, no one was sure if she would live or die. During that week, strange things happened. The baby's hair, which had been a dark brown at birth, slowly lightened until it was an almost white shade of platinum blonde. The baby's room experienced sudden bursts of cold, even though it was the middle of the summer. Winter winds whistled down the palace corridors. However, no one thought anything of the interesting events once the little princess began to improve. Eventually, she made a full recovery, though she was much more reserved than Lina had been. The baby seemed normal-except that her skin was as cold as ice and snow seemed to follow her wherever she went. At last, once the little baby completely froze her crib one night, her parents took her to see a shaman in a faraway village. He confirmed their worst fears-their little girl had the power to control ice and snow.

That baby was me.

After my birth, no one ever brought up Lina again. She was a closely guarded family secret, and almost no one outside of the palace knows of her existence. Sometimes, I wonder about what things would be like if I had an older sister-someone who'd done everything before that I could ask for help sometimes.

So, my powers were a mistake-probably. Of course, there were other ice wielders in the family long ago, but the last one died out ages ago. Our great-grandparents weren't even born yet. It's very rare that traits like that skip that many generations, though it does happen occasionally. I've learned not to put too much thought into it, because there's nothing I or anyone else can do about it now. It might have been possible to remove the powers when I was first born, before they'd had a chance to really manifest, but removing powers is a tricky operation. Once elemental powers manifest themselves in young children, it's very hard to remove them without injuring the child, often permanently. Mother and Father decided it wasn't worth it to put my life in danger like that. If they'd had a chance to look into the future though, I'm sure they would have changed their mind.

I hope I didn't bore you to death with this letter. It's just….ever since my powers acted up a couple of weeks ago, I've been trying to sort things out, and that's easiest for me to do on paper.

For todays' memory, we're going to look at that birthday I told you about, the one where we went to see the play. You woke me up in the middle of the night and asked me if I wanted to play.

I can never say no to you-unless it's for your own safety.

So, we crept down to the ballroom in the dark. You were a little scared, I think, even though you stubbornly refused to admit it.

"What are we going to do?" you asked, once we were seated in the middle of the floor, looking around at the room that, for one night, belonged to us and us alone.

Without realizing it, I created a snowflake. Just one. But you saw it.

"What's that?" you asked.

"My…magic." I'd never really showed you the magic intentionally before then.

Your eyes bugged out of your head. "You have magic?"

"Yeah, but I don't use it that often. I can make snowflakes?"

"Can you show me?"

So I did. You just had this look of wonder on your face, like I was the most amazing person in the world. I got this really pleasant feeling in my stomach, like I'd done something that I should really be proud of. That's when I learned that my ice powers could delight and dazzle people, not just make them encourage me not to show it in public. One person loved them. What if other people did, too?

You do wonderful things for me in a lot of ways, Anna, even though you don't know that you're doing them. Every time you stop outside my door, even if you're singing that song, you're still letting me know that _I'm thinking of you and I want to go play! We can still be friends. I'm not going to give you the cold shoulder for ignoring me all these years because we're sisters and we can still play together!_

Thank you, Anna. When the day comes when I can open my door without fearing my powers, I will literally skip to your room and say "Anna, do you still want to build that snowman?"

I think we both know how you'll respond.

Love,

Elsa


	7. Visitors and Plans

**I'm sorry I didn't update yesterday. I want to get up to speed on Once Upon a Time before the new season, so I watched episodes pretty much all weekend. Now I am just starting Season 3. Anyway, delays shouldn't happen again. **

**On to the story!**

January 31st, 1798

Dear Anna,

Yesterday representatives from the Northern Isles came to our palace for a goodwill dinner, and I was able to attend for once. You know that, though. You came and sat next to me at the table and talked to me nonstop for the entire meal. It was our first time really talking to each other in almost four years.

You seem to be getting along well. You were really sweet and bubbly and told me all about your friends and what you like to do in the evenings after your lessons. You talked about playing in the snow and how you're taking piano lessons (though you said that you'll never be as good as I am). You're so nice. I wanted to tell you everything-about these letters, about how I still have all your old cards and drawings, and how I kept your French book. If we had more time, I probably would have. I wish I didn't have to go back behind the closed door now. I wish things could be like that all the time, because we really felt like normal sisters, just having a conversation with each other. I miss you, Anna. I really wish things were different.

But they aren't. Whenever I look at you, a small part of me still sees the little girl lying motionless in the middle of the ballroom floor, a new white streak appearing in her hair-because of me. I can't let that happen to you again. Not now, not ever. If this is the way things have to be so you'll be safe…then I'll stay in my room.

That wasn't the only thing that happened though. The king and queen of the Northern Isles have a son my age-and he's like me.

You're probably thinking that I'm crazy, but he looked just like me-he had white-blonde hair and blue eyes the color of ice. He also had a haunted and scared look in his eye. I know that look, because I know that feeling well. It's a feeling that you get when you're trying desperately not to mess something up, because you know that there will be terrible consequences if you do. I probably would have had the same look in my eyes if I hadn't been so involved in talking to you. I was sure that he was hiding something. Immediately, I had to wonder if he had ice powers, too. I had to wonder if he knew the secret to controlling them, but I couldn't find the proper time to ask.

Then, after cocktails, Mother asked the Queen if she wanted to see the skating rink, and the Queen said that she would love that. So, the adults went off to the skating rink while I was left with you and the prince, Nickolas.

Nickolas didn't look at us, and you just chattered on like nothing had changed at all, so I did something that I'm not at all proud of.

I told you to go to the kitchen and order us a few more lemonades.

Of course, you were only too happy to comply. You practically skipped off to tell the cooks, leaving me alone with Nickolas.

"Hi." I said. "You're Nickolas, right?"

He nodded. "Your name is Elsa."

"Yes." How do you ask someone if they have elemental powers without sounding insane-especially if you follow that up with 'I have them, too.' or something like that? Even worse, what if they don't have powers at all and you just make a fool of yourself? I didn't know what to say. I almost didn't ask him. Then I thought of you, and how I would do anything to play with you again. "Nickolas, do you have…magic powers?"

I seriously thought he might strangle me for a second. He looked really mad-and even a little scared-as if he'd been told that that question meant bad news. "What do you mean?"

"Can you control things, like fire…or ice?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because…I can, too." It was the first time I'd told the news to someone outside the family.

He took it better than I thought he would. "Really? Let's see it?"

I pulled off one of my gloves and created a few flurries that didn't melt when they touched my skin. "What about you?"

"Water." He waved his hand above his cup. Immediately, all the water in it rose and twisted until it formed the name Nickolas in little letters above his plate. "Were you born with your abilities?"

"Yes. Were you?"

He looked away. "No. I was cursed. Two years ago."

I didn't pry, since no one should have to answer questions like that if they don't want to. I'm still curious, though. I kind of wish I'd asked him about it now. "Oh. That's too bad."

"Yeah."

"So…do you know how to control your powers?"

"Kind of. Do you?" There was hope in his eyes-the same hope I'd felt just moments before. Now it was gone though, as I realized that there was nothing more that he could tell me. He didn't know any more about his powers than I did.

I showed him my gloves. "They help my powers stay in control. It doesn't always work though."

Nickolas bit his lip. "Can I trust you? I mean, just between people with magic?"

"Sure. What is it?"

"Well…I've heard of a shaman, who lives far north, who might be able to help us. She's supposed to be the wisest person on earth, and if anyone knows how to control-and in my case, get rid of-our powers, it's her."

"That's great! I'll go tell my parents and-"

"No!" he practically yelled. "You can't! I mean…it doesn't work like that. Only those who seek her help are allowed to come on the journey."

"So you mean…I'd have to sneak out?"

"Theoretically. I've been planning this for ages. I know exactly where to go. The journey won't take more than a week, round trip…that is, if you want to come."

"You're nervous, aren't you? You don't want to go alone."

He shifted from foot to foot nervously. "Anything might be out there-good or bad. It's…safer if we go together. Of course, you don't have to come if you don't want to. Just please don't tell my parents. I have to go, even if you don't. I have to learn how to control my powers. She's my last chance. So, what do you say, Elsa? Are you in or out?"

This was a huge opportunity for me. What if I learned how to control my powers? I'd be able to talk to you every day, Anna. I'd be able to play with you and help you with your French. Best of all, I'd be able to live without fear. However, I'd have to take a huge risk, and break the rules in a way I never had before.

Why did I feel so excited?

"Yeah." I replied. "I'm in."

We talked for a while after that, planning our escape, until you came back in with the lemonade. I haven't told anyone about this. I keep replaying the details in my head, making sure I didn't imagine any of it. As Nickolas left, he said "See you soon, Elsa." and winked. It was a sign for me-a sign that I was really doing this.

I'm excited, Anna, but I'm also really nervous. If this journey works, I'll never have to fear my powers again.

That's a big if though. What if it doesn't work at all? Or am I just worrying too much?

We're leaving on February 17th. Nickolas is going to meet me in the village and we'll leave from there. We'll be back soon, though. Don't worry, Anna. I'm not leaving you forever. Don't worry about me while I'm gone. I'll be fine-better than fine, if all goes well.

Today's closing memory: the first time you went ice skating.

Like me, you started ice skating young-basically when you could walk. I had a lot of fun twirling you around on the ice until you fell into a laughing heap on the ice. You were so cute in your little skates, watching the rest of us twirl and leap across the frozen water. After a while, you grabbed onto the hem of my dress so I could pull you along. That seemed to work well for you. We glided around the pond for ages, laughing, talking, and enjoying the winter weather.

I still have that pair of skates, you know. They're way too small for you now, obviously, but I couldn't bear to see them get thrown away. Sometimes when I can't sleep at night I get them out and look at them. They bring back memories of a happier time-a time that I wish we could go back to sometimes. I wish I could turn back the clock.

I know exactly what I'd change.

Love,

Elsa

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	8. Valentine's Day and Chocolate

**Once again, late update. Unless I get a storm of reviews telling me not to, I might keep the updates at every other day-at least for now. A new school year just started and I have a routine to get back to. However, I am by no means abandoning this story. I left it on a little bit of a cliffhanger last time, and I want to be sure that I resolve that. **

**My full Frozen story is completely written. I'm just waiting to finish my Harry Potter story before I post it, as I don't want my updating schedule to get too crazy.**

**Enjoy the new chapter**

February 14th, 1798

Valentine's Day

Dear Anna,

Happy Valentine's Day! Did you do anything special today to celebrate?

When I woke up this morning, I wasn't expecting much of anything to be different-maybe I'd plaster my room in paper hearts in honor of the holiday, but that's about it. Instead, I heard a little knock outside my door and then soft footsteps padding down the hallway in the opposite direction. Of course, I was very curious, so I opened the door.

At first I wasn't sure what had happened. There wasn't anyone out in the hallway. Then, I looked down and saw a carefully wrapped box of dark chocolates covered in hardened white chocolate. I added it to the secret stash that I keep under my mattress (just forget I said that last part, okay?)-well, after I had a few to test them, of course. They were luscious. Thank you, Anna. It means a lot to me.

Other than that, I had a pretty quiet day. I didn't have any lessons so I spent half the day looking out the window and the other half drawing pictures of things around my room. So far, I have a picture of the lamp on my nightstand, the nightstand itself, my desk, the wardrobe, the window seat, and my bookshelves. I've also tried to draw a few self-portraits, but none of them have turned out.

Of the four walls in my room, two are covered in pictures. The first wall is for my own artwork that I like. I've improved a lot over the years, ever since I started private lessons a couple of years ago. My art teacher, Jared, still comes by every other week to teach me about art and art history. Art history is fascinating. Now, I mostly draw replicas of famous artwork to hone my skills or things around me. I've drawn a lot of pictures of you, Anna, especially when you were just a little baby. You look so cute, toddling around and exploring your world.

On the other wall are all of your pictures. These are all the pictures you've drawn over the years and have either slipped them under the door or given them to Mother and Father to give to me. I also have all of the birthday cards you've made for me, along with all the other holiday cards. I look at them a lot, now more than ever, to remind me that you still love me.

I've always found drawing to be helpful in getting rid of stress. When I pick up the pencil to first start drawing, I feel like I leave some of my stresses behind. I love to make little worlds and populate them with people. In these world, everyone is happy, no one is sick or dying, and best of all no one is cursed. The people in my worlds are all generally the same. They have the same feelings, they hang out at the same places, shop at the same stores, and never feel lonely or scared. Although they're all different, they're not as different as I am. No one should have to be that different.

For my birthday last year I actually got a real pen with real ink. They're very expensive and hard to come by, and they're not exactly easy to write with. Ink splatters everywhere, including all over my paper, but when it works correctly your writing looks beautiful-much more so than it does in just plain pencil or quill. Since ink is not generally found in this part of the world, I use it sparingly so I don't use up all the ink. Father has a few in his study. Sometimes I go and look at them-to marvel at what a wonder they are. Someday, when I'm the queen, I hope that I have lots of pens.

But that isn't what Valentine's Day is really about, though. The holiday is about spending time with and celebrating those whom you love. It's quite a nice holiday, though it isn't quite as well publicized as the winter ones tend to be.

So, in honor of today, I decided to write a little poem for you. I hope you like it, even though it's not very good:

_Ever since you were little,_

_I've watched you grow and change_

_Always proud and happy_

_To see the woman you're becoming_

_Reveling in your triumphs_

_And willing you to keep strong in times of pain_

_Wishing I could be there too_

_But knowing you are safe_

_Which, of course matters most_

_And even though I'm not_

_Right outside this door_

_I'm here for you, Anna_

_Now and forevermore_.

So, that's it. Not all that impressive.

I don't usually read poetry that often, though I really feel that it portrays human emotions more accurately than other types of writing. There's a whole section devoted to it in the library. When I was younger, I used to spend hours ensconced in a chair by the fire poring over the poetry books because of their beautiful, full color illustrations. The poetry books that we own have wonderful illustrations.

Last night, I spent a lot of time playing the piano. It seems like I play it more and more as time goes on. I love it so much-I like to just let the notes flow through me and out into the air. I'd like to think that I'm really getting quite good. Johan says that I'm 'exceeding his expectations'. He's had to pull out more advanced music for me. I've moved on from folk songs and am already on sonatas. Not too bad, considering that I barely started a month ago.

In three months we're going to our grandparents' castle in the neighboring kingdom of Barrow. It's going to be like a big family reunion. We'll see all of our cousins on Father's side of the family. Some we haven't seen in years and some you haven't even met. You'll love them all, Anna. They're outgoing and bubbly, just like you. Me…not so much. We weren't sure for a long time if I was going to be able to go, but since Nickolas's visit, when nothing out of the ordinary happened, Mother and Father have allowed me to do quite a bit more. I've been able to go down to the village a few times for little odds and ends that we need around the house that we can't get anywhere else, like wood for the fireplaces and coal for the stoves. The only catch is that I have to keep my head down and pretend that I have a nasty cough so I can't talk to people more than I have to. Firstly because I might get mobbed by people, and second of all because I might make something…happen that I don't want to. It would be terrible if Arendelle's citizens ever found out about my powers-especially before I can control them. They might question my right to rule, if they don't take things further. Mother and Father are confident that when the time comes people will accept me as I am. I don't know. Ice powers can be a little hard to take in at first.

I still don't know the full extent of my powers. I don't know if they could kill anyone, if I really tried, though I suppose they could. I wish I knew more. Then maybe I wouldn't feel so afraid and lonely all the time. It's hard to know what to expect when your powers are left up to fate, chance, and hope.

That's why on Valentine's Day I give thanks for you and that you're still here. I'm so glad that I got a second chance to be here for you and take care of you. You mean the world to me, Anna. If you ever need anything, I'll do the best I can to help you, even though it might not seem that way at first. I promise. And I take my promises very, very seriously.

Closing memory: Going to the chocolatier's shop a few weeks before the accident. It was around the time of year it is now-the weather had just started to warm up, but the ice harvesters' camp up north was still up and running as they tried to make the frozen lake yield a few more blocks of ice. Mother decided that she really didn't want to make homemade chocolate that year, so she decided to take me and you out with her to the chocolatier's so he would make the chocolate for us. She said we'd each be able to pick one piece to eat. At the time, I didn't think it would be hard. After all, isn't chocolate pretty much the same, no matter where you are?

I can remember very few times in my life when I have been that wrong.

It was a great day. We went dress shopping and out for lunch in the town before we went to the chocolatier's shop. We smelled his store before we saw it-the delicious smell of rich, creamy chocolate could be smelt all the way down the block.

The shop was amazing. It was filled from floor to ceiling with all kinds of chocolate-coiled, straight, with filling, without, and in every flavor imaginable. There were little chocolate reindeer pulling little chocolate sleighs. There were chocolate models of our castle, with a rich, gooey center. There were little sticks of chocolate that melted on your tongue and huge blocks of the stuff that would take months to eat. In honor of the season, there were even chocolate ice harvesters braving a chocolate blizzard to battle a frozen chocolate sea.

For a while, you and I didn't move. We were too busy eyeing all that chocolate and all those limitless possibilities they held. However, in the end we chose two chocolate girls, wearing textured chocolate dresses and holding hands. We each got one. They were like sisters. They were like us. I was torn between wanting to eat my piece of chocolate or save it forever because the craftsmanship was so beautiful. I've never seen chocolate like that, and I doubt that I ever will.

What I remember most about that day though, even more than the chocolate, was the feeling of being a family, and being surrounded by people that loved and cared about me. I felt like that a couple of times before, but those are stories for another day. That day was special though, because it was the last time I felt that feeling.

To another sweet year, and to many more on the way. Happy Valentine's Day, Anna. Thank you for ten years of chocolate. Thank you for always choosing my favorite kind.

Love,

Elsa

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	9. Preparations and Fairy Tales

**I'm back with another letter! Thanks to everyone who is following this story and to those who have favorite and reviewed! Keep the feedback coming, as I love to hear from my readers.**

**Expect my actual Frozen story up within the next two weeks. I will keep updating this story as I write that one.**

**Enjoy!**

February 17th, 1798

Dear Anna,

As you probably remember, tonight is a pretty big night for me. Nickolas will be here in a few hours to start our journey to the shaman that he knows. If all goes well, she'll be able to tell me how to control my powers. Maybe, once Mother and Father see that I can use my powers safely, I'll be able to play with you again. It's a long shot, but maybe things can change. Maybe things can be how they once were.

Today's been kind of a hard day, actually. I'm both nervous and excited. On the one hand, I'd give anything to be able to control my powers, but I also don't want to cause Mother and Father to worry. Nickolas said that the trip should only take about a week, but in all the adventure books I've read (and there have been a lot of them) almost nothing ever goes according to plan. The main character ends up in mortal peril or gets lost and spends a lot more than his or her allotted time on the journey. If I come back any later than a week, I'm sure that our parents will hang me for treason or something of that ilk. I could barely focus during lessons, so I locked myself in the library for most of the afternoon. Everyone knows that the library is my thinking spot and no one really disturbs me while I'm in there.

Mother and Father have planned a piano recital for me a few weeks from now. I'm going to play a few folk songs, a few sonatas, and a song of my own making. It's not really any good. I spent a few hours at the piano bench, playing chords to see if they sounded harmonious. You'll be at the recital, as will a few families from neighboring kingdoms. It's supposed to be an informal thing, to 'get me used to being around people again'. I'm not excited. I'm actually really nervous, but I can't exactly refuse to do it. Mother is very excited. She spent hours going over invitations with me yesterday. She wanted to make sure I liked the cards we picked out, so she kept finding more styles for us to look at. Eventually, I decided on a bundle of manila cards that have the Arendelle crest emblazoned on the top. They're not very fancy, but that's all right. They don't need to be.

It snowed again last night. I wasn't awake though, so I didn't go out to play.

Did you know that I have a nice cover story for my life, to use when I'm with other diplomats? Mother and Father never tell them that I'm usually shut away in my room. Instead, they've created an alternate reality. In this alternate reality, I have a few good friends, I spend a lot of time in town roaming the village streets, and I'm very outgoing and social. When I was younger, I was drilled until I could answer questions about this reality on the spur of the moment. I've taken lessons to be social. I'd like to think that no one would think of me as…'special' unless I wanted them to. As I've grown and changed, so has the story, but one thing always remains the same: the story is a lie. My real life could not possibly be any more different.

I'm also worried that Nickolas won't come. I've read stories where people go back on their promises. They get scared or upset and break off meetings-usually without telling the other person. What if Nickolas does that to me?

I've realized that these letters have become more than just letters. They've become a sort of diary, where I can write down my thoughts and feelings without worrying about being judged. I hope that you are able to read these letters someday, Anna. You'll be able to see me-really see me-not as others think I am but as I really am. You'll be able to see that I'm not a monster-at least, not really. Not yet.

I just took a break to make sure I have everything. I do. I'm bringing some paper and ink, my winter cloak-in case we meet anyone along the way-a couple bars of chocolate, a flask of fresh water, and a book. It's one of my favorites-it's all about the way we think and how our thoughts affect our actions. I've read it many times because I've held on to the childish hope that it can help me somehow. Like maybe if I think nice thoughts I can control my powers. While that doesn't work all the time, I have learned that my powers are mostly controlled by my thoughts and emotions. If I'm in a content state of being, for example, my powers are usually under my control. However, if I'm stressed, angry, or scared, my powers take on a mind of their own and there's nothing I can do to stop them.

Sometimes, my powers will just sporadically shoot out of me, freezing anything-or anyone-near me. I can't stop this, and there's no method to why it happens either. I'll be completely fine, and then I'll just…lose it, I suppose. It happens once or twice a month, and there's no clear schedule.

I just heard a tap on my bedroom window. Nickolas is here! He did come back! I have to go now. I'll write back when I get the chance.

Nickolas said he had to make a few last preparations before we went, so I have a minute or so to finish this letter. He's found a way to make our journey much faster, but he won't tell me what it is yet.

Closing memory: the first time you smiled. I know you're probably thinking that this is a bad memory to use for something as big as a letter's closing memory-and you'd be right. It's not special or important in any way, but it was a big event in my young life.

When you were born, I wondered if there was something wrong with you because you weren't smiling. Since I was such a young girl, I thought that everyone smiled all the time-even young babies. Even though Mother and Father said that you'd smile soon enough, I couldn't wait that long. I tried everything I could think of to get you to smile. I made you presents, drew you pictures, and brought you pretty flowers that I found out in the garden. You still didn't smile though, so I began to worry: what if I was doing something wrong?

Then, one night I heard you crying from inside your cradle. I was unsure of what to do. Mother and Father had always told me to wake them up when you started crying, but they were getting good sleep for the first time since your birth. I figured I'd let them sleep, but I couldn't leave you to cry. So, I tiptoed over to your cradle. I didn't know the first thing about calming a crying baby, but I was desperate to try.

"Hi, Anna." I whispered, gently rocking your cradle. "It's okay. It's just me. What's wrong? Did you have a bad dream?"

You'd quieted down by then and was carefully taking me in, as if unsure whether or not you could trust me.

"I know what it's like. I get bad dreams sometimes, too. Don't worry. When you wake up, you find out that they aren't real. Here, do you want to see something?" I went back over to my bed and grabbed a heavy book from my nightstand. Its pages were brittle and beginning to yellow with age, so I held it carefully out of your reach. "This is a book of fairy tales. They help me whenever I can't sleep. Maybe they'll help you."

I opened the book to the first page. "This is the story of the princess who journeyed all the way to the North Star so she could ask it to grant her a wish." I began to read, halting at every word I didn't know as I tried to decipher its meaning. You listened quietly. When I was done, you were almost asleep.

Softly, I closed the book. "Good night, Anna. Sleep well."

As you nodded off, I could see that you were smiling in the soft moonlight coming in from a nearby window.

Good night, Anna. I'll be back again before you know it. Things will have changed.

Hopefully, they'll have changed for the better.

Love,

Elsa

**The next letter is going to be from Anna to Elsa, as a change of pace. I will occasionally do this throughout the story.**


	10. (Anna)-Why Geography is Unnecessary

**I apologize for the extremely late update. I was on a retreat with my graduating class yesterday and most of today. I had the next chapter written out and ready to post on Wednesday, but my computer didn't save it and I just…really did not want to work on it after that. **

**For those of you who didn't get the message, this letter is from Anna to Elsa as a change of pace. Every tenth letter will be like this. After every fifteen letters, there will be a time jump of about six months in the narrative. **

**Those are all the new updates. Enjoy and be sure to read, review, follow, and favorite!**

February 19th, 1798

Dear Elsa,

Where are you? No one has seen you in days, and now everyone is starting to worry. Yesterday, Mother and Father sent out search parties to every corner of the kingdom, but no one has found you yet. Our parents don't talk about your disappearance around me, but I know they think you did it of your own accord. That's not true, right? You wouldn't leave us like that, would you? You wouldn't want us to worry.

You obviously left for some reason, because you can cover your tracks better than anyone I know. Remember that time when we were little and you stole chocolate from the pantry and blamed it on me? I got in trouble because it was my word against yours-my older and altogether more perfect sister. No one suspected that you had anything to do with the chocolate, or that you shared it with me afterwards. You always were good about sharing your chocolate.

Did you leave because of something I did? Did I say something wrong when I talked to you at that dinner a couple weeks ago? Did I take too long getting the drinks? Gerda said that it takes a while to make proper lemonade-and she really likes making proper lemonade. I'm sorry that you had to talk to that Nickolas kid all by yourself. Did he say something mean to you? You could have told me. I would have punched him into the middle of next week.

Father is looking over my shoulder as I write this. He just got done with a meeting with the rest of his cabinet of advisers, about-you guessed it-your disappearance. He said that I shouldn't write things like that. Little girls, especially if they're princesses, shouldn't have violent tendencies. You would certainly never have violent tendencies.

I think that everyone wishes that I was more like you. I had my first full decorum lesson with Madam Dania yesterday. She taught me how to properly serve tea, but I had a miserable time. First of all, the proper method of serving tea is boring at best. Secondly, the steps kept rearranging themselves in my brain so I kept making mistakes and tripping over chairs and tables. Madam Dania yelled at me for quite a long time. She said, _Your sister was naturally gifted at the art of serving tea! She never had this much trouble! What's wrong with you, Anna? Why can't you be more like her?_

What they don't understand is that I really try to be like you in every way I possibly can. I used to sit outside your door for hours, waiting for you to come out and play. When I got older and couldn't sleep at night, I would create lists of questions I would ask you when I got a chance. I knew you'd be able to understand things that no one else could. You would never make me feel worthless.

I don't want you to think that I'm not good at anything, though. Sir Karl says I'm the best fencing student he's ever taught. When I accidentally hit him really hard in the stomach with my wooden sword, he just laughed it off. He said that I didn't know my own strength. Do you think he's right? Maybe my awkwardness is good for something…hopefully it's just a phase I'm going through. Father said he went through one when he was my age and he turned out fine. Maybe I will, too.

I'm supposed to be studying Geography right now, but Geography is boring-especially when my big sister is missing and I can't help look for her. I also don't see why I need Geography. I mean, if I ever need to travel, my chauffeur will know where I'm going. Shouldn't he be the one learning Geography instead of me? Do you think that chauffeurs go to a special chauffeuring school where they learn where all the countries are and how to get there, or do you think they just ask for help as they go along? I could probably never memorize all the countries in the world, even if I studied for a hundred years.

I tried explaining all of this to my teacher, but he just got mad at me and said that 'little girls should listen to their elders and not use such smart remarks.' I honestly wasn't trying to talk back. I just wanted to explain to him why I think Geography is unnecessary. Instead, I got extra homework. I'm not going to do it now though. I'm going to write to you, because maybe then you'll come home-if you know that we all want desperately for you to return.

You are coming back, aren't you? I mean, you have to. Who's going to comfort me when I have nightmares or take me to see the Northern Lights? I haven't gone in years, not since you last took me, because it isn't the same without you. Who's going to help me with my French (I took my textbook back because Mother and Father got really upset when they heard what I did. They said that you aren't to be disturbed because you have to mature and maturing takes a very long time)? Who's going to help me sneak chocolate? I haven't given up on you yet, Elsa. I think it's just a matter of time before you're done maturing and we can go play again. Won't that be amazing? I can't wait. I hope there's snow outside so we can have snowball fights and build snowmen and snow forts. My friends don't make good snow forts like you do. They put too much weight on the roof and it caves in and snow gets into all of our winter clothes.

My teacher just came back into the room to see what I was working on, so I had to hide this letter really quickly. I…might have gotten a little bit of ink on it. There's quite a stain on the top right corner of the page. It almost looks like the flower on our country's flag.

I'm going to hang this letter on my wall so I'll see it until you come back. Maybe it'll help me stop worrying. I went outside today to look down at the village and I saw a snowdrop-definitely the first one of the season. It's too early for snowdrops, and that one will probably freeze the next time there's a freezing cold night, but for now I'm taking it as a sign. You'll be back soon.

Then we can build snowmen together.

Love,

Anna

**How did you like the POV change? **

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	11. Wolves and Adventures

**Welcome back, readers! **

**Nothing new to report, so we can jump right to the chapter!**

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Day 1

Dear Anna,

I am writing this letter to you while lying on a cave floor.

You heard me right. The floor is made of stone and it isn't at all comfortable. However, it's better than nothing and Nickolas and I have been travelling for hours. There's only so long you can go without rest. Nickolas also thinks we're less likely to be found by patrols underground. He's probably right, but that doesn't mean we're comfortable. There's a large rock knifing into the back of my spine and the sound of water dripping from stalactites is keeping me from going to sleep. I've been trying for a long time now. I think it's been more than an hour. Then again, I can't tell. There's nothing here to distinguish one moment from the next.

Nickolas managed to steal a sled for us! At first, I didn't like the idea of using stolen property, but then he said that it belongs to his father. Besides that, it's the sled his father hardly ever uses. It's a little run down, and the blankets and seat covers and ratty and filled with holes, but it's cozy just the same. Nickolas didn't steal the horse who's pulling our sleigh, though. Her name is Svetlana, and she's his pet. Svetlana is quite old by reindeer standards and she's very gentle. You'd really like her, Anna.

We're out of the kingdom now. We passed the southern boundary about two hours ago. The sun had just started to rise, and we could see the entire kingdom spread out below us. I could see our palace. It looked like a toy almost. I was sure I could pick it up and hold it in the palm of my hand.

Nickolas is nothing like he was when you met him at the dinner, Anna. He's actually very talkative. He's been telling me all about his kingdom and what he likes to do in the winter. We're actually quite alike. We've read some of the same books, and he likes poetry almost as much as I do. He's a good travelling companion and he never complains-not even about the rocky floor. He's currently asleep on the other side of the fire, near Svetlana. They look so peaceful, curled up next to each other. I wish I had my sketchbook so I could try to draw them. I'd do it on this letter, but I want to conserve the pencil lead. Maybe there'll be more sleepless nights. You can't be too sure-or too safe.

Nickolas just told me to bank the fire. He said that the light is keeping him up. We only have it for light, since we don't feel the cold. Once I bank the fire, I won't have enough light to write by, so this'll be it for tonight.

Good night, Anna. I'll write back as soon as I can.

Day 2

Dear Anna,

If this is what going on an adventure is like, it's even better than I imagined it would be. We walked all day today, except for when we stopped for meals and fresh water. We didn't meet anyone else.

We're high up in the mountains now. The air feels a lot thinner and cleaner up here. I often feel dizzy from the slight shortage of oxygen. The vistas are beautiful-all of the mountains are cloaked in white snow. It looks like a giant frosted them with a giant spatula full of crisp white frosting.

Last night, Nickolas and I had a snowball fight before we went to sleep. I haven't laughed so hard in ages. He has a wicked sense of humor.

Day 3

Dear Anna,

We hid for the first time today from a group of Arendelle soldiers. They were looking for me.

Nickolas and I hid in a dried up riverbed as the men paced back and forth, searching and calling my name. They talked about how the kingdom-especially the royal family-was worried sick. You hadn't come to school all week. At that moment, I wanted to go out and surrender. I never wanted any of you to worry about me.

We found an abandoned cabin to spend the night in. Its cupboards contained some cracker packs, lutefisk, and even a few stale cookies. It was like a feast for us. Cookies have never tasted so good.

Please don't worry about me, Anna. I'm safe. Nickolas and Svetlana are with me, and we're taking care of ourselves. We'll be back soon. Nickolas calculated that we should reach the shaman's house tomorrow night. I'm really excited, but I'm also quite nervous. What if she refuses to help us? That question has been nagging at me for days now. What if Nickolas was wrong? What if she either can't or won't teach us how to control our powers? I want to come home with my powers in check, not a failure.

I've learned at least one thing about myself this trip: I'm very good at creating fires. Just give me a few stones and pieces of wood and I'm set. I've been making most of our fires at night. Nickolas said that we have to keep it burning all night if we're sleeping in the open. It keeps away the wolves. We've decided to take it in shifts. Out here, wolves have a way of sneaking up on you if you're not careful.

Day 4

Dear Anna,

We saw wolves today. It came about in the stupidest way-Nickolas and I were arguing about who should be leading Svetlana and we let ourselves be distracted. Before we knew what was happening, we were surrounded by a huge pack of wolves. They were at least as big as we were-some were twice our size. If they'd have wanted to kill us, they certainly could have. Thankfully, they didn't. They just ran with us for a while until they disappeared into a gully. It was the strangest thing. They didn't try to bite us at all. They just…ran alongside of us. I guess they'd just gotten done with a big hunt and weren't hungry anymore. In any case, we were very lucky. Nickolas and I have made a pact to never argue again.

Day 5

Dear Anna,

Finally, for the first time in days, I am lying on a soft feather bed at the shaman's house. We got here late last night, after going for hours to put a good distance between ourselves and the wolf pack-in case they got hungry again.

The shaman looked surprised to see us-at least until we told her who we were and what we wanted. Then all she wanted to do was help us. She made a heavy soup for us and gave us each our own room. My room is lavishly furnished with a four poster bed and an oak desk in the corner. There's a fire dancing merrily on the grate. She said that we'll start our lessons tomorrow. Nickolas can't wait.

I'm a little more hesitant. Maybe I've read too many books lately, but I'm thinking that things don't add up. She's too…nice for someone who lives alone in the mountains. Worst of all, she wouldn't give me a straight answer when I asked how long the lessons would take.

Day 6

Dear Anna,

Something is definitely wrong here.

We had our first 'lesson' today. The shaman made us kill squirrels and rabbits by freezing them. She said to let our powers make us feel powerful. I don't want to feel powerful, I want to feel in control. I can't do that while I'm killing animals. However, no matter what I said, the shaman wouldn't listen to me.

I tried to confide in Nickolas, but he wouldn't listen either. He loves our lessons and tries to imitate the shaman in whatever he does. He never talks to me anymore. He just spends hours behind locked doors and exchanges strange looks with our host. I feel like they're in on some joke I'm not privy to.

I'm starting to get a little nervous, Anna. We were supposed to be on our way by now, but I don't know when Nickolas will be leaving.

I'm beginning to think that he doesn't plan to.

Day 7

Dear Anna,

I found out today what kind of magic the shaman practices.

Black magic.

I saw her chanting strange words over the entrails of a duck. I've only heard those words in those witch doctor plays we used to see in the theater.

I have to get out of here.

I tried to tell Nickolas that we're in danger, but he doesn't seem to notice me anymore. I think it's already too late for him. The shaman did something to him-his eyes are beginning to turn purple.

I need to make a decision about whether to go with or without him. I can't force him to go with me, but what will happen to him if he stays?

Day 8

Nickolas tried to kill me.

I escaped in the middle of the night by climbing out my bedroom window. I left my bag behind, just to be safe. I don't want any of my possessions tinted with dark magic.

Nickolas was waiting for me in the front yard, smiling almost sadistically. Then, he shot a black liquid out of his hand. It burned my skin where it struck me.

I tried reasoning with him. I didn't want to fight back, but eventually I had to. I froze the ground under his feet so he would trip and fall. Then, while he was distracted, I ran.

I didn't look back.

I have no idea where I'm going. I just keep following the North Star. Hopefully I'm heading toward Arendelle.

If I'm not…well, anywhere can be better than the place I left behind.

I'm sorry, Anna. I shouldn't have left. I shouldn't have trusted an offer that seemed too good to be true. Maybe Nickolas was in on it from the beginning.

I'll never know. It's not like I can go back and ask him.

Day 9

Dear Anna,

I walked all day today. The landscape is beginning to look familiar-we passed here a few days ago. Nickolas and Svetlana were with me. So much has changed since then.

I don't want to write tonight. When I sleep, I can forget about what a fool I was to think that the shaman could help me.

I made some very foolish choices. I hope you can forgive me

Day 10

Dear Anna,

I'm home.

There was no fanfare to announce me. No parade to celebrate my arrival. I'm not even in trouble for leaving-at least, I don't think I am. I didn't ask. I haven't talked to anyone since I got back. I keep thinking about Nickolas and how I left him behind. I think I was a coward to do so. I should have tried to rescue him from the shaman's curse. Under normal circumstances, I would have tried, but I got scared. I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have gone with Nickolas in the first place. I should have told someone.

I shouldn't have tried so hard to be a hero.

Soon, I'll explain everything to Mother and Father. They won't be upset with me, not when I'm so upset myself. I feel like I deserve something, though-some kind of punishment for disobeying the rules. For now though, I just want to be alone. I want to straighten things out. I want to try to make sense of things.

The world can be a dangerous place, Anna. It's dangerous when there are people like Nickolas and myself around. Humans are easily corruptible. Humans with powers are even more so.

I thought I was ready to take on an adventure.

I guess I was wrong.

I'm going to write a formal letter of apology to you. I can say that Nickolas deserted me and the shaman turned us away. You don't need to know everything, but you deserve an explanation.

I understand if you're upset with me.

I'm really, really sorry.

Just thought that you would like to know that.

Love,

Elsa

**Got a little depressing there….I didn't see that coming. I write these letters from scratch, so I usually don't know how they're going to turn out. I hope this letter was all right. Please review and tell me what you think.**

**Next letter: The aftermath**

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	12. Sleepless Nights

**Welcome back! **

**Updates: my actual Frozen story, ****Scorched****, will be posted tomorrow. I will still update this story as I write that one.**

**Enjoy!**

March 3rd, 1798

Dear Anna,

It's been a week since my journey. Not much has changed. I'm certainly no closer to learning how to control my powers than I was before.

Honestly, it hasn't really been that great of a week. Mother and Father grilled me thoroughly the day after I got back. They questioned me for almost two hours, probably trying to figure out how I could betray their trust like that. When I told them why I'd left, they didn't get upset. They said that my actions were 'understandable under the circumstances'. I still don't think I'll be going into town anytime soon, though.

No one has seen Nickolas since I left the shaman's. His parents arrived last night to ask me more questions about what Nickolas was like when I left him. I didn't tell them that he was seduced by black magic. No parent should have to hear that about their child. I just said he'd decided to stay with the shaman. Why didn't I tell them? Maybe they could have helped him. I wasn't thinking, I guess. I hope he is all right.

I didn't tell Mother and Father about Nickolas either. Father has won all kinds of jousting contests. He won't want to hear about how I ran away because I was afraid. That isn't what future queens do. Future queens have to stand their ground, even when things look difficult. I know I still have a lot of growing up to do.

I've really been working hard on my lessons. It's easy to distract myself with books and writing exercises. Then I don't really have to think. The library is beginning to feel like my second home. Everyone has questions for me these days-whether it's because I disappeared temporarily or because I'm growing older I don't know. In a few short months I'll be a teenager. However, it's only March. It's not close enough to even begin to contemplate my upcoming birthday.

What story did they tell you to explain away my disappearance? I'm sorry if you felt like it was your fault because it wasn't-not at all. Anna, I would never want to hurt your feelings like that. I wouldn't try to scare you intentionally. I'm not that mean. Besides, I thought the journey would be shorter than it actually was. If I would have known I'd be gone more than a week, I wouldn't have gone, I promise.

These letters are starting to build up. I paged through them last night because I couldn't sleep. The first one seems so long ago, though it was written just a few months in the past. Time really does fly.

It's finally started to warm up again. My bedroom window is open to let in a warm spring breeze. The first few brave snowdrops and crocuses are beginning to sprout in the palace gardens. I walked in the gardens after dinner yesterday. I named each of the flowers, like we used to when we were younger. I even named the little yellow crocus under your window Anna, because it's hardy and persistent-just like you.

Other than that, there isn't much to report. I've been having nightmares at night. I don't think I've actually gotten good sleep since that night in the cave, strange as it sounds. Every time I close my eyes, I see Nickolas' burning with hatred as he summons dark magic. After that, I neither can nor want to go back to sleep. So, I sneak down to the library. I'm very quiet so I don't disturb anyone, and Mother and Father don't mind. They haven't said anything about it to me, that is. I've been steadily reading my way through the shelves of books. I'm reading a particularly dense volume on trade agreements in northern Europe at the moment. You'd find it very boring. Even I'm finding it somewhat boring.

Mother and Father seem to want to treat me more like a princess. Yesterday, Mother let me see my tiara. I haven't seen it since I was younger than you, but I'll talk about that later. The tiara itself was made by a master silversmith a couple of months before I was born. It's made of finely wrought silver and has three pink pendants in the center. It's meant to look like a rose in bloom. The crown is only for extremely formal occasions, like births and weddings. I haven't been to either, so I've never had an occasion to wear the tiara. It's in a special room near the armory, to remind me of what I must never forget-I am a princess. One day, I will be a queen. When that day comes, I have to be ready to be a good ruler. If I'm not, my people will suffer, and that can't happen.

Father also let me pick out one of his ink pens for my very own. I took an hour to decide. Each had something special to offer-some had more ink than others, but others were easier to write with. Eventually, I decided on a red one with the Arendelle crest on it. It's beautiful. So far, I haven't written with it. I've just admired it from a distance. I have a habit of trying to preserve the beauty of things for as long as I possibly can.

I just looked at the clock across the room. It is currently 2:57 in the morning. Everyone else in the castle is asleep. They probably have been for hours in all honesty. You probably guessed that I'm in the library, and you'd be right. Gerda came in before she went home about an hour ago to put out the fire in the grate. I think I gave her a little bit of a start, but she shrugged it off in that nonchalant way of hers. She was even kind enough to let me leave the fire burning so I can see by its light. I've been in here for hours, but can't relax enough to fall asleep. I thought that writing to you might help. It has in the past.

Here's a secret I haven't told anyone-I really want to travel. I know all my actions are to the contrary, but I would love to take a year to tour the various kingdoms of Europe. I've read about all sorts of towns and people, and I'd love to see them in real life. I'm really looking forward to my kingdom tour near the holidays-though I don't know if that will happen now. My powers are getting out of hand again. Maybe someday, though. In a few years, we should go on a kingdom tour together. I'm sure you'd have fun traveling, especially since we haven't left the country in years. I know that I sometimes get bored of my room, but at least I can remember what traveling is like. You were really young the last time we went out of the country, so being shut away in the palace all day must seem like torture to you. Of course, you now know that the doors are locked because of me.

It's almost 3:30 now. I probably shouldn't make this too much longer, so I'll end with a memory, like always.

This memory probably doesn't count, since the accident had already happened, but I'm really tired and I can't quite think straight.

On your first day of school, I watched you leave the castle for the first time in years. You were super excited-you had a new book bag and a lunch pail. Basically, you had all the tools of school success. I remember thinking how lucky you were. I really wished I could be in your place, but I was really happy for you too. I knew you would love school. You'd get to meet a lot of different friends.

When you got back, you couldn't stop talking about how much you loved school and couldn't wait to go back. You've loved it ever since. I think it's your way of meeting new friends and being social outside the palace walls. Granted, the school is very small. There are only a few kids besides yourself, but you're friends with all of them. It's never bothered you.

Not much bothers you, Anna. You don't concern yourself over small things.

Would you mind teaching me how to do that?

I think I can sleep now. Thanks for listening, Anna. I know I can always count on you.

Love,

Elsa

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	13. The Piano Recital

**So sorry for the late update! I just had a busy weekend (again) and I didn't get around to it. **

**Who's excited for Once Upon a Time Season 4? Only six more days! I'm currently watching the first episode again. So amazing…and it's only getting better!**

**Anyway…I changed the name of my Frozen story from Scorched to Charred. The prologue and first chapter are up. Check it out if you want to!**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

March 10th, 1897

Dear Elsa,

In a few minutes, I'll be walking down the Grand Staircase and into the Ballroom for the first time in years. I'm wearing a new blue dress and a new pair of gloves, specially tailored for the occasion. I'll act confident and smile at everyone. Then, I'll sit down at the piano and begin to play. I'll play for hours. For once, I won't feel like a freak, because I'm creating something beautiful-music. Tonight's the night of my piano recital.

Things have been…better for the last week or so. I've read most of the books in the historical section of the library. I've written a few poems and short stories, but they aren't good-at all. At least I've been sleeping through the night. The nightmares aren't as bad now. Sometimes I don't even have them. Those nights are few and far between, though.

Mother just called me to come downstairs. I have to go, but I'll be back. I'll write before I go to sleep. I'll tell you everything.

I owe you that much at least.

Well, I'm back.

The recital went really well. It ended up lasting close to three hours, because guests kept shouting out songs for me to play after I'd played the songs I prepared. I played waltzes, folk songs, even a few simple songs that children sing in their music classes at school. Everyone was happy and laughing-especially you. You never ran out of new songs, and whenever I finished a piece you were always the one clapping the hardest.

After the recital, Gerda made snacks for the guests since it was too late for them to even begin the journey back to their respective kingdoms. There was lots of chocolate-even an entire fountain made out of melted chocolate. Father said that it even had a name 'fondue'. You were supposed to stick little bits of fruit and cake under the chocolate so the chocolate would completely cover them. It was absolutely delicious. You and I spent most of the night by the fountain, talking, gossiping, and eating chocolate.

I thought you'd be made at me for leaving, but you acted like nothing happened between us. You hugged me and said that you were glad that I was back. I'll admit, I was a little worried about meeting you again, but I guess I didn't have to be. After years of separation, you still don't hate me.

You talked a lot about whatever you could think of-the weather, your friends, your weekend plans, and how you were going to redecorate your room in the summer. You want a green window box that you can fill with tulips. I hope Mother approves it; it sounds lovely-and will add a splash of color during the winter months. I love winter, but it can get a little dull after a while. I'm glad it'll be spring soon. The ice on the fjords is beginning to thaw, and the ice harvesters are due back from their camp in the northern part of the kingdom any day now. The women of the village are planning a big party in their honor. I wish I could be there, but I'm not going to sneak out again. I hear you'll be making an appearance though. Mother says that you're part of a skit a few of your friends are doing about ice harvesting. I wish I could see it. You're a natural actress, Anna.

Mother just came in. She was wondering why I was still up, since it's so late. It's probably close to one in the morning. I said that I was just writing a letter to you. Mother looked so surprised. "You're still writing those letters?" she asked.

I nodded. "I have been for months now." I pulled out the box so she could see all of the letters. I don't just have letters there now. There are also some rough sketches of you and me, some pressed crocuses I collected a few weeks ago, and even a couple of my favorite books that I'm trying to remember to show you someday. It's basically like a living scrapbook of my life.

Believe it or not, Mother started to cry. She said that she was sorry Anna and I had had to be separated from each other. She also said that siblings are meant to stay together and grow to be close friends-like she and her sister Ilisa, who's now queen of Corona, were. I wish we could be like that, Anna, but I value your safety more. I told Mother that. I told her that I'm not bitter at all. Although I regret what happened so many years ago, I understand why the separation had to be done. Since then, I've taken every precaution to shield you from my powers-whether or not you realize it. I've had to sacrifice a lot-and my friendship with you is just one part of it.

I think Mother still felt guilty. I wish she didn't feel that way, because none of this is her fault. If anything, it's mine for not having the backbone to say no to you. It still takes a lot to tell you to leave me alone. Quite honestly, I'm tired of being alone. When you're alone, you have time to think. And when you really think, your mind can wander to all kinds of places you don't want it to go. Have you ever had experiences like that? Probably not, I'd guess. Your life seems perfect, at least from what you've told me.

I'm super, super tired, but I'm in that weird state where I want to sleep but I can't. I've been thinking a lot about what Mother said-what true sisters are. We used to be so close. We used to do everything together. Do you still remember that? Mother says you do. She says that you ask about me all the time, the same way I pester her for news about you. It's on days like these, where we get to see each other but at the same time are so far away, that I miss you most. I know it's impractical, especially since we get to talk to each other face to face, but sometimes I feel like we're standing on opposite sides of an expansive ocean. We can call and gesture to each other, but neither of us will ever be fully able to understand what the other one is saying. I'm afraid that's how things will be between us.

Really, I'm afraid we'll never understand each other, especially as more years go by. Let's face it, there's only so much you can do when you only see each other for a few hours every year or two. However, I'm not going to stop trying. I'll grill Mother and Father until I feel like I sufficiently know you.

We might feel like strangers to each other sometimes, but when it comes down to it we're still sisters.

Love,

Elsa

**More fluff, evidently.**

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	14. Fairy Tales

**Hello again! **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed this chapter! It's nice to know that people like my stories. I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

March 20th, 1798

Dear Anna,

Today was the first warm day in a very long time. Temperatures reached the upper 60s for the first time all season. I saw lots of children in the city run outside without their coats on so they could play in the wet snow. Some threw it at their friends, much to the chagrin of their mothers. The snow that's accumulated over the winter isn't exactly clean, and I don't know of anyone who likes to wash the dirt out of clothes.

The ice harvesters' party is going to occur on Friday. Today I asked Mother if I could go. She said that she'd think about it. I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. When Mother decides to think about something, she really thinks about it. She examines the matter from every angle and asks the opinion of Father and all of the palace's servants. I might not find out if I've been cleared to go until the day of the party.

Later today, I have a big test on the countries of Europe. I've been studying for weeks, so I'm not really that nervous. I've started reciting capitals and trade routes in my sleep. My Geography teacher really doesn't like me, though. I wouldn't put it past her to put something about an Asian country on the test. We haven't covered Asia yet.

Speaking of school, you got the day off today because of the nice weather. I don't know who was more excited-the children or the teachers. I've seen the way some of your teachers rush for the schoolroom doors at the end of the day…what are the children in your class like, Anna? Then again, if their energy level is even close to yours, I can't say that I blame them.

You were outside all day. I think you were trying to build a snowman out of the last few flakes of snow. It didn't work though. The snow wouldn't stick together anymore. You didn't mind. You just took the initiative and worked that much harder. You really have a lot of perseverance, Anna. You don't let anything stand in your way. That's a great way to be.

Did you know that there's a secret passage under the dungeons? I didn't-at least until today. I accidentally stumbled across it while I was getting some wine for Father and the guests at his dinner party. There's a door at the back of the wine closet behind the wine bottles from 1770. It's very well hidden and it's hard to see if you aren't looking directly at it. When I tried it, the door wasn't locked. It opened onto a low stone passageway that led directly under the palace. I don't know why I decided to explore. I was just thinking about you and what you'd do in this situation. If you had a chance to 'go on an adventure', you wouldn't pass it up just for a few wine bottles. So, I decided to see where the passageway led. I knew I couldn't be gone long, though. Father would be waiting for his wine.

The passage was dimly lit. A few torches flickered feebly on the walls, though they were almost burnt out. It was obvious that no one had been in there for a while. In fact, the passageway only led to one –room-but that room was absolutely fascinating.

It was filled with all sorts of historical artifacts. There were dresses that were centuries old and much more luxurious than anything we wear today-even for special ceremonies. There were old telescopes and star charts. Best of all, there was an entire wall devoted to photo albums. I saw some really cute pictures of Mother as a little girl. Some of the pictures even had us in them. The most recent picture was of you on your tenth birthday.

I could have spent hours down there, immersed in all that history. I would have looked through every photo album front to back if I'd had the time. It was the kind of place where you'd expect to find a treasure map or something like that. Even though I haven't actually thought about treasure hunts for years, I couldn't help it. That room was practically made for dreaming. I've kind of nicknamed it the Room of Wonder and I'm going back as soon as I can.

Isn't it funny how we can gain pleasure from the smallest things-like a dusty old book or a heap of dirty snow? They can occupy us for hours and keep our imaginations running wild. Imagination is one of our greatest talents, if you think about it. It gives us the ability to make something out of nothing-when isn't that appreciated?

I've started writing a book. It's not very good and it's not very long. I've been working on it here and there when I find the time. Basically, it's about two children who were abandoned in the forest as babies. They've grown up together and have had to depend on each other to survive. However, the forest is becoming a more and more dangerous place-in more ways than one. The children have to adapt to their changing surroundings and come to grips with their pasts before they can work on their futures. It's still pretty rough but I plan to make it better…someday. It could take a while.

I've read a lot of books, you know. It's not surprising that I have a lot of free time on my hands. However, the tales I like best are fairy tales. I used to read them to you before you went to sleep so you'd hear them just as I did. The best thing about these stories is that no matter what happens, they all end happily. No matter how much trouble the main characters get into, they always manage to resolve things in the end and create their own happily-ever-afters.

The only tales I don't like are those that involve magic-good or otherwise. I used to have fits when I heard about magic solving everyone's problems. Because, to tell the truth, it doesn't. Not at all. Magic isn't worth the trouble it causes. All it does is cause more problems and hurt people. It makes things worse. Not better. That's what people don't seem to get. They idolize magic. They wish they had it so they can 'make their lives better'. It doesn't work. Believe me, I've tried everything I can to control my powers and to hide them, but they're a part of me. Like it or not.

That's one of the only things we used to argue about as kids. You thought that it would be great to have magic-especially when you saw me create snow. I would always tell you that magic wasn't worth it. You wouldn't believe me, though. You still thought magic was wonderful.

I'm sorry, Anna. Magic almost got you killed. I can never think of it as anything other than terrible again.

Enjoy the nice weather today, Anna. I'm thinking of you. Build a snowman for me-I know you'll be able to.

From,

Elsa

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	15. A Cause of Celebration

**I can't believe we're on the last chapter of the first series! Time has really flown. Thank you so much to everyone who has followed, favorited, or reviewed this story.**

**After this, the narrative will probably time jump a little bit. I know I want to do the reunion, but after that I think I'll just skip directly to September. The story is by no means over. I tried to do a little math: we have nine years left and 15 chapters a year. So, we're looking at about 135 chapters, maybe more. This should be a long book….**

**Anyway, enjoy the chapter!**

April 1st, 1798

Dear Anna,

Winter is officially over. All the snow has melted, the birds are starting to sing in the mornings again, and you're able to play outside without a coat. Yesterday, Mother took our coats to the cleaners so they'll be clean for next year. They're supposed to get back tomorrow. After that, they'll be hung in the attic until we need them again.

It pretty much rained all day today. The grass was all muddy. I pretty much ruined my new boots just by walking down the hill to our private well. Every time I stepped on the grass, the wet mud oozed onto my boots. By the time I got back to the castle, they hardly resembled boots anymore. I think Mother almost had a heart attack when she saw them. She likes things to be neat, clean, and orderly-which my boots certainly were not. She also said that we're getting a paved path down to the well when the rain stops. It's been raining on and off for most of the day.

The reunion has been pushed back a few months due to Grandmother's ailing health. No one is sure if she'll survive another winter. I'm for sure going to the reunion now-not only to meet all of our cousins and second cousins, but also to say good bye.

Our grandparents on Mother's side are the only living pair of grandparents that we have. Father's parents died a few years before I was born. There was a lot of sickness in his kingdom at that time and both died within days of each other. I think Father still misses them a lot. He likes to tell me stories about them and about himself and his two siblings when they were kids. Come to think of it, a lot of Father's side of the family has passed away. His older brother, Charles, was killed during a war between a neighboring kingdom, and his two children, Annaliesa and James, never lived past age five. Father's younger sister, Annaliese (but everyone called her Liesie), died from disease when she was only twenty. She has one daughter, Joanna, who is sixteen.

I've seen our living grandparents seven or eight times. They used to come visit us quite a lot, especially right after you were born. Like I've mentioned before, you were certainly not the perfect baby. Grandmother and I looked after you while Father attended his council meetings and Mother got some rest. You'll like Grandmother, Anna. She has a fiery temper-just like you.

I've moved up a level in Geography after I passed my test with flying colors. I just got the new books yesterday. They're massive-almost eight hundred pages each, not counting the index. I don't know how on earth I'm going to memorize everything, even just paging through them. History is filled with so many people, places, wars, assassinations, plots, and counter plots that it's almost impossible to memorize everything. However, before my coronation I'll have to take a four hour verbal test on history and geography to prove that I know the country well enough to rule it. Father has told me about it on numerous occasions. He says that it's not easy. At all. In fact, he holds with the belief that the people who administer the test are really just trying to trip him up, because he knows he didn't learn about at least a third of the events they reference. He's really pushing me to work hard at my studies. It's almost as if he's afraid he's going to die soon. That's rubbish, of course. Father is still very healthy. He says that he just wants me to be prepared, but a small part of me is worried that maybe something more is going on.

The ice harvesters are still trickling in from their camp. Apparently, many couldn't cross the river because of all the melting snow so they had to set up a temporary camp up in the mountains. The mood in the city has been festive and celebratory all week. Last week was the big party for the first men to return. There was lot of singing and dancing. I watched the festivities for hours, trying to imagine what it felt like to be surrounded by all those people, all singing and giving thanks for the safe return of their sons, brothers, and husbands.

Ice harvesting is a very risky business. A lot can go wrong. The ice might be thinner than you thought it was and you could fall in. That's happened many times before. No matter how careful men are, we usually lose a few every year because they fell through the ice and were frozen instantly. Since we're so far north, the water freezes you instantly and kills you. It's no good even trying to get out. There's no hope.

However, this is a happy time. This year, we didn't lose any men to a frozen death, which is in and of itself a cause for celebration. I helped Mother bake cookies to bring to the party. They were gone within an hour. I don't know whether it was because the cookies were mouthwateringly delicious or because we made them. Mother says the townspeople are constantly asking about me. They want to see the newest paintings and things like that. The paintings that Mother shows them are actually pretty old. They're from last year. I've grown a lot since then, which means it's time for a new painting. Father will probably commission them to paint it next fall sometime, because the summer is going to be a very busy time for us. It usually is. First of all, we have the reunion in June. Father will be staying here so that someone is in charge of the country, but you and I will go with Mother once your school gets out for the summer. My birthday is in July. There's going to be another big party in town because I'm going to be a teenager. After I finish my teenage years I'll be an adult, so it's a pretty big birthday. I still find it funny that the townspeople will throw a birthday party for me even though I won't be able to attend. Mother said you can, though. If I know you, you're very excited-and the party isn't for months.

I hope you never get lonely when school is off for the summer. Of course, your friends don't live too far away. All the nobility lives in one section of town, and your school is only for children of the Arendellien nobility. There aren't many of you in class together, but in the past the school used to be very busy. Did you know that it was originally built as a private school for King Roald XIV's sixteen children? There wasn't room for them all in the palace, so the school was born. Since then, it's been a tradition for the Royal Family to send their children to the school so they can improve their etiquette and social relations. I'd be going if times were different.

I can see you at the party playing tag with your friends. You look so happy and carefree. I wish you always looked that way. Lately, you've seemed a little sad. I wish I knew why. I want to help, if there's anything I can do.

I just want you to know that I'm always very proud of you, Anna. No matter what you do, you're always confident and friendly to everyone you meet. You do so many things that I just wouldn't be able to. I would never be able to walk into a room full of people, introduce myself, and start a conversation the way you can. I wouldn't know what to say. No matter what anyone says, you're very special. You're like a star to everyone who knows you-you're bright, cheerful, and encourage others to do the best they can at whatever they're doing. You're a wonderful person-more than anyone can say.

I would close with a memory, but I really should be working on my mathematics homework and my teacher will be back any second. So I'll just close by saying that I love you. Know that. No matter what happens, no matter what you have to go through as you travel through life, know that I am with you.

You will always have a sister-and a friend-in me.

Love,

Elsa

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	16. Travelling

**There's really no way I can explain the long absence. Life caught up with me. I had a couple big tests for school last week that I had to study for, but now that they're done I can turn back to writing fanfiction! **

**Enjoy!**

September 3rd, 1798

Dear Anna,

Currently, I'm sitting in the back of a jolting carriage. It's one of many, a long parade of carts and sleds that stretches for almost a mile behind us. Most of the carts are heaped high with presents for our cousins and other relatives. If you still couldn't tell, we're on our way to the family reunion.

It's been a few months since I last wrote. This was a really busy summer. I had my thirteenth birthday. I got a lot of nice presents from some of our subjects. Father built a new shelf for me to put all my presents on so I can look at them while I'm doing my schoolwork. There are a wide range of them-a reindeer made of solid chocolate from the chocolatier, a color coordinated map of Arendelle from the cartographer, and a stack of birthday cards from all the children. I love them all. However, I love your present most of all. It's a snow globe that shows our castle covered in a light dusting of snow. On the bottom, an inscription reads _Sometimes in life, you can't be afraid to shake things up. _It's nice advice. I've been thinking about it a lot, and about what it means. This journey is certainly shaking things up. It's the first time we've been outside the palace gate in years, Anna. _Years. _Time really has flown. It seems like only yesterday we were in this same carriage, huddled under mounds of blankets, trying to get a few hours of sleep before we reached the kingdom of the Southern Isles.

I know that the reunion was scheduled for June. We were all set to go, but then Grandmother got sick again. Like, really sick. The doctors weren't at all sure that she would live and we were told not to make the journey. We waited for news for a really, really tense week. Thankfully, Grandmother is still all right. She's insisting that we still come to the reunion as planned. We wouldn't think of disobeying her, especially not now.

It takes about two days to get to her kingdom-all the way up north, near the Arctic Circle. Mother says it's as close to the top of the world as you can get while staying on the ground. She's also said that the view of the Northern Lights there is amazing. I can't wait to see if she's right. I've brought a lot of books for the trip. I emptied all of the fantasy shelves, as those are my favorites. Father's eyes almost bugged out when he saw how many books I was bringing-especially when I said I was still expecting a couple more from the bookseller in town. He replied that I wasn't going to have enough time to visit with my relatives in between all the books. I'm not concerned, though. I'm a very fast reader.

I wish we were riding in the same carriage. Mother is still separating us for the journey up, just to be safe. I can see you in the carriage behind me, though. You're having an animated conversation with the driver, complete with lots of elaborate hand gestures. You almost fell off the cart, Anna. You should be more careful. It would be terrible if we had to halt the reunion again because you have a broken leg that needs to heal. Of course, you like to do whatever is on your mind. Nothing we can say makes any difference to you. If your mind is set on something, nothing in the world will change it.

I'm really looking forward to spending an entire week with you, though. We can explore the castle and the surrounding grounds. We'll pretend we're going on an epic quest-you know we both love adventure stories, even if we'll never have any of our own. At least I won't. I can't make any promises about you. You aren't the heir to the throne, so you don't have to worry about being responsible. Not that you like being responsible anyway. When you were younger, you thought being responsible was a waste of your time and talents. You liked to go from one thing to the next-I'm sure you still do. We might mature with age, but some things will never change-no matter what happens to us.

Other than that, not much has happened. I mean, I've gone to a lot of diplomatic meetings so I can understand how the country's council works. I've been studying maps of the country daily, trying to memorize borders, rivers, and military bases. Arendelle doesn't really have an army, as we're very much a peaceful nation. I've always wondered if we really should have an army, just in case. Father says that we don't need one. No one is going to hurt us. I'm inclined to agree with him. I've read a lot about assassination attempts on the royal families of other countries, but that's never been a problem in Arendelle. We're content to live in harmony with others. If we do have conflicts, they're mostly border disputes-nothing that isn't solved with a day of meetings or a toss of a coin, if things run late.

It's starting to get dark. My cart driver just lit a lantern so I can continue writing this letter. The sun is setting over the mountains, and everything is streaked with gold and pink from the rays of the setting sun. It's beautiful. Then again, nature usually is. I mean, have you ever seen the early morning sun sparkling off new fallen snow? No, you probably haven't. No offense, Anna, but you're definitely a late riser.

I have to wrap this up. Mother just came by and said I should try to get some sleep. Everyone at the reunion is going to be happy, exuberant, and loud. It'll help if I'm in the right mood. So, reluctantly, I'll find a memory for you.

I remember the first time I saw your tiara. I was about five, and you were two. We'd been playing outside in the garden for a while, but you were getting bored and tired and wanted to go inside. So, I took you to the playroom where all our toys were. To my surprise, you didn't want to go the playground. You more or less ran away from me and I lost track of you. When I found you an hour later, you were in a room I'd never seen before, reaching for something sparkly on the top shelf of a high wardrobe. It was a tiara made of little green stones-emeralds, to be specific. Someone had written your name under it in careful ink.

Your tiara was beautiful. I remember placing it on your head and saying "You're the queen, Anna!" You laughed with delight, like you always did. You didn't know what a queen was, but you loved that tiara-so much so that you tried to eat it. Luckily, I took it away from you. Not only should tiaras be worn not eaten, but jewels can't be good for the digestive system.

Mother told me again to get some sleep. I think she's starting to get a little annoyed, so I'll stop writing. I'll write once we get to the reunion, if I have time. I'm really excited to see everyone again, and I'm sure you are too.

Until then,

Love,

Elsa

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	17. The Reunion

**Once again, I was out of town so I couldn't post the next chapter. I'm going to try to keep a more regular updating schedule, but I guess I can't really make any promises. Things just keep coming up! However, I will keep writing this story. I will update Charred within the next couple of days, for those of you who are reading it. **

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September 12th, 1798

Dear Anna,

Well, the reunion is already over. We just arrived back at the palace yesterday-back to the walls of silence and the closed doors. For the first time that I can remember, I didn't want to go back to my room. I didn't want to give up the shred of normality I found while at the reunion. I didn't want to give up the hours spent talking with you and our cousins. I don't want to give up jumping in massive leaf piles or playing outside on the palace grounds. I don't want to go back to hiding.

The reunion was…amazing. Everyone was able to make it, even though there had been heavy flooding the day before. There were our cousins: Eliza, Daniel, Fred, Sara, Hannah, Davis, and Lianna; our grandparents, and various other aunts and uncles from distant kingdoms scattered across the continent. We all look pretty similar to each other. We have the same eyes.

Our grandparents have expansive grounds. There are brooks to ford, woods to hike through, even an entire mountain to climb. You heard me right-they own the entire mountain. Daniel led an expedition to the top. All of us cousins went, weighed down with supplies. It took almost an entire day to make the climb. We had to sleep in a cave on the side of the mountain, and everyone was freezing cold. Davis and I managed to make a fire, but it kept going out. Eventually, we all just huddled together for warmth. It was a little bit awkward for me, since I wasn't cold at all. In fact, I think I just made everyone colder.

The next morning, we reached the mountain's summit. The view was amazing, Anna. You were able to see all parts of their kingdom-from the main city to the smallest villages on the country's borders. We could even see Arendelle very far away in the distance. It's amazing how our large castle can still look so small in comparison to the rest of the world. It's a reminder that we aren't as big as we think we are, in the grand scheme of things.

Then, we had to hike all the way back down the mountain. That journey was a lot easier-we managed to get back to the castle around dark. As soon as we arrived, Mother and the rest of the aunts bundled us off to take warm showers, put on warm clothes, and drink steaming mugs of hot chocolate. Aunt Verity made me take three showers when I didn't appear to warm up and thought I was getting sick. Mother had to tell her about my…'condition' in order to calm her nerves. Aunt Verity is now sworn to secrecy, which is just as well-I don't think she believed Mother. She asked me later to confirm the far-fetched story, which I did. After that, she shook her head like she couldn't believe it and said that I was about the least likely person to have magic powers of any sort, especially winter powers. I'm pretty sure that she now thinks that both Mother and I are liars. Maybe it's just as well. Verity can be a bit of a gossip.

Grandmother has a massive library-it's about five times bigger than ours. I didn't have any time to look through their books since I was so busy playing with the cousins all the time, but Grandmother said I could take some books for the trip back (I donated the ones I brought along as unnecessary compensation for the new books. I'd finished all of them anyway). Grandmother is very, very nice. I sat with her for an hour every day, and we talked a lot about my lessons and the books I've been reading. She's read some of the old classics that I've read and she can remember all of them, so we end up having very involved conversations about characters and plot twists.

I wonder if Mother told her about my ice powers, because Grandmother once said to me "Sometimes the best things about ourselves are the things we keep hidden." Of course, she could be talking about any number of things, but I like to think that she was talking in a code that only we can understand-as a way of telling me that she knows about my powers and that she approves of them. She also gave me a book of family trees to study. Who knows? Maybe other members of our family had ice magic, too. Maybe I'm not alone.

I'm very, very tired right now, so I'm sorry if this letter is a little haphazard and not the best. It's really late, as we were stopped on the way back because the river levels were unusually high. On top of that, I had to share a room with you, Eliza, Hannah, Lianna, and Sara. I love all of you, but when groups of young girls get together, they like to talk…all night as it turns out. For a couple hours, it's fine, but we ended up talking for hours on end. Consequently, I barely got any sleep. That's all right though. I wouldn't trade those midnight conversations for anything. I learned so much about everyone-especially you, Anna. I learned that you don't like shrimp because you think it's too slimy. You actually enjoy doing chores because they give you something to do. You aren't a big reader. Sometimes you sneak out of the castle to run races with the boys in the village. Sometimes you even win. I felt like I was seeing another side to you, one I haven't seen in years.

The main topic of conversation ended up being what I do in my room all day. Hannah and Sara weren't satisfied with my answer-that I had lessons for one part of the day, drew for the rest of the day, and read all night. They were forever coming up with wilder and wilder theories-I'm secretly meeting a boy, I have a secret passage in the back of my closet that leads to the harbor, even that I secretly entertain foreign dignitaries while Father and Mother are busy at meetings. None of them were true of course, but they made us all laugh-and laughter is always a good thing.

The only hard part about the entire trip was having to say good bye to everyone at the end of the reunion. By then, I felt like everyone was a new friend that I'd never see again once we parted ways. Mother, Verity, Aunt Joan, Aunt Elizabeth, and Aunt Ilisa are trying to set up another reunion in the near future, but they aren't sure it will work out. We're all really busy during the next few months-the winter holidays will be upon us before we know it-but maybe we'll all meet up again sometime next summer. I hope we do. I've learned that my powers are easy to control when I'm happy and relaxed, which I was for the entire reunion. A week with my cousins helped me more than years of isolation ever did.

I exchanged addresses with all of the cousins. We're going to write to each other regularly-or at least try to. I spent an extra-long amount of time in Grandmother's room, saying farewell. I'm afraid I won't get to see her again. She's looking a lot better, but she's still pale and sick. She told me that the wind blows where it does for a reason and that trials are only blessings in disguise. I've been thinking about her words a lot. I'm wondering if she's right. If she is, does that mean that my powers are actually a blessing and not a curse? It's hard for me to think like that, especially since I've practically been raised in fear of anyone finding out about my secret.

Worst of all, I had to say good bye to you-again. I had to pretend that we can just go back to the way we used to be-shut away and not talking to each other. Mother says we might be able to set something up if things keep going like they have been-meaning that I haven't froze anything or anyone for a long time. I'm really excited. I'd be willing to do almost anything to be able to talk to you again-even to just have one more conversation with you. You'd be happy to know that you're much more interesting than most books. Books can't listen to you. Books can't offer you advice. Books can't laugh over nothing. Books can't share memories with you.

You can do all of this and more, Anna. Never forget how special you really are.

I can't wait for our next family reunion.

Love,

Elsa

**I love writing fluff!**

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	18. Floods and Maps

**I know it's been a ridiculously long time since I last updated this story. One word for you-school. That's why I'm posting two chapters tonight, as a kind of apology. **

**Special thanks to everyone who is still following this story.**

October 5th, 1798

Dear Anna,

Lovely weather we're having. It's been raining on and off for the last few days and there was snow on the palace grounds when I woke up this morning. The basement flooded last night. Mother freaked out, because she says there are a bunch of irreplaceable family heirlooms down there. It took her and a few servants five hours to rescue everything from the basement and stack it in the front parlor so it could all dry out. I barely got any sleep because I could hear their footsteps on the stairs, which are directly under my bedroom. As a result, I haven't been able to focus at all today-especially not for lessons. I practiced serving tea in my decorum class and I accidentally put salt in our drinks instead of sugar. It was not a pretty sight.

A delegate from Corona was supposed to arrive today for their annual economic summit, but Mother asked them to postpone a day or two while we clean up from the flood. The parlor is like a maze right now-there are piles and piles of old clothing, books, maps, and china. Mother says I can look through her collection of fairy tales from when she was a child-once they dry out, at least. She knows how much I love them. Right now, she's trying to go through everything and assess it all for damage. Some things are really waterlogged and are going to have to be thrown out, but most we can salvage. She brought a pile of old maps up to my room after lunch so I could check them for wet spots. I spent hours poring over them. They're so old and complex. Usually, most of the text has faded away so I can't even tell where the map leads. Some kingdoms I recognize, like the Northern Isles and Corona, but a few are complete mysteries to me. There's a region called Misthaven that I've never heard of. I asked the royal cartographer, Karl, if he knew what it was. He got all flustered when I asked him and didn't answer. I think he's hiding something from me and I'm determined to find out what it is!

Father was gone all last week on a business trip. When he came back he had presents for both of us-a new bag for you and a sketchbook for me. A real sketchbook-with real parchment pages. I drew almost all of last week. I don't mean to be vain, but I think I'm actually quite a good artist. Sometimes Father frames my artwork and hangs it around the castle. When I was really little, I drew a picture of a crown made of snowflakes. Father still has it. He says that it's his favorite picture that I've made, and he keeps it in his room-I guess so he can remind himself that there's still good in me.

I know I'm being unfair. Father is wonderful. He's kind, caring, and I know that he loves me. I sometimes feel like I'm a disappointment to him, though. He wanted a nice, normal baby, but he got me instead-and I'm anything but normal. I'm sure he wanted a male heir. So not only am I a female, but I have ice powers that alienate me from everyone around me. He can't allow diplomats' children to come to the palace for fear that they'll see my powers. He has to deal with my bad days and my mood swings. He handles everything wonderfully and he never makes me feel like I'm anything less than what I am. But every so often, there'll be something in his eyes-almost like fear. That's when I know that he's worried I'm going to lose control of my ice powers. I know he wants to protect me, but he won't always be able to. I know he worries what's going to happen then.

To be honest, so do I.

I don't always get a lot of time to talk to him. He's usually busy-much too busy to come up to my room and ask me about my day and my lessons. I understand this; it helps me treasure what little time I do spend with him. Like two nights ago. He came to see me after dinner, and we talked about our upcoming goodwill tour. Father wants to make sure I'm ready-in more ways than one. Firstly, do I know all my social graces? Can I greet people and serve tea in the proper way? Do I know how to curtsy and how to make conversation with just about anyone? Then, secondly: Do I have significant control over my powers? He's said more than once that it would be easy just to cancel the trip if I have to. He doesn't think I should go if there's a chance that I'll get scared or stressed out.

To tell the truth, I'm nervous-really nervous. I've never had to leave Arendelle for more than a couple of weeks-and I'll be away two months for the tour. Two long, long months without you or Mother. I might be able to write home a couple of times, but the mail service is almost nonexistent in some of the places we're going. The Western Isles have been racked with civil war as of late. Mail carriages are regularly taken over by bandits. I'm not worried about the royal carriages though. From what Father was saying, the king of the Western Isles is going to send a quarter of his army to make sure we reach the palace safely. Still, the terrain is rough and mountainous, and some parts of the road are unpaved and unwatched. Anything could happen, really.

Now I'm just scaring myself. I do that sometimes. The head cook, Frid, says I take myself too seriously and that I should try to lighten up. It can be hard, though. The world isn't always a safe place-there's bandits, sickness, war, and death. While I feel safe in the palace, I also know that bad things can happen to anyone anywhere at any time. You would never think about things like this, Anna. I know that I probably shouldn't, but it can be hard not to.

On the other hand, I'm also really excited for the tour. I'm excited to see the things I've only read about in my history textbook and meet lots of different people with different cultures. If I can just keep my powers under control, I know I'm going to have a wonderful time. It should be easy to control my powers by now. After all, it's been thirteen years. I'm beginning to think I'll never learn how to, though. Every time I think I get close to learning about my powers and how they work, something happens that throws me back to square one. I know that fear and stress agitate my powers and that it's best for me to just keep calm and let whatever happens happen. Unfortunately, that's easier said than done-especially since I get stressed out really easily. Whenever my parents ask how my efforts are going, I lie and say that I'm making progress. They have enough to worry about already. They don't need to worry about me.

Even though there are still two months until I leave, I'm starting to pack now. I need a different dress for every one of the social events I'll be attending, so I've been going to the dressmaker every week since my birthday. My tiaras are being polished and I've been deciding what books to take on the journey. I'm only allowed one trunk for them, which isn't nearly enough but the horses are going to have to be able to pull the carriage…

I really should get back to my homework. My teacher is going to get suspicious if I take too long, since I'm usually a very conscientious student, but I feel like I owe you a closing memory. I'm going to choose the first time we made cookies together.

I remember that it was close to Christmas time and Mother had a lot of cookies to make and not a lot of time. So, she let us help her out. I was really excited because I'd never been allowed near the oven until then, and I really wanted to learn how to bake. At first Mother was just going to let me help because you were still a little baby and you could barely walk. We were afraid you'd burn yourself on the hot stove. Unfortunately for us, you whined so much that the courtier who was supposed to be babysitting you went home with a headache, so you had to be recruited to the baking team too.

At first, I was really worried about you. I kept making sure you were well away from the oven even as I rolled dough and frosted cut-out cookies. However, you were content to stay near me and do whatever I was doing at the time. You helped me make the cookies, but when it came time to frost them I think more of the frosting went into your mouth than onto the actual cookie. We were having too much fun to care though.

After that, it became a tradition for us to help Mother with the Christmas baking. Every year after that, we would spend days in the kitchen making delicious treats. We still do that now, just not together. I miss your presence in the kitchen a lot-you're not there to smear frosting all over your face and make jokes about it. Maybe someday, when I learn to control my powers, we can make cookies again. If that day ever comes, that is.

My teacher just came back in. She's given me three minutes to come up with a satisfactory explanation as to why I'm not working on my geography homework.

Wish me luck, Anna-you're a much better liar than I am.

I'm not sure that's really a compliment though…

Love,

Elsa

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**I should have another letter posted in a couple of hours.**


	19. Jewelry and Good Byes

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November 28th, 1798

Dear Anna,

All my dresses are officially packed for the tour. The palace seamstress, Hennah, just put the finishing touches on the last one- it's blue and white, like maypole ribbons. You'd like it. I have around fifty dresses now. They've all been cleaned, pressed, and packed away into heavy wooden trunks so they won't get ruined on the journey. They'll have to last for months.

Father and I leave tomorrow. We'll be going to seven different kingdoms. Hopefully, we'll be back before Valentine's Day. We can't make any promises though. Like I said in my last letter, once you're out of the castle and the protection it provides, anything can happen.

It's strange. I know we'll be coming back home in a couple of months and it's not like we're going away forever, but I still feel like I'm never coming back here. I feel like I have to memorize every single detail about the palace, just in case something happens to me while I'm gone. I walked through all 120 rooms this morning. I counted doors, windows, and suits of armor. I named the subjects of the portraits on the walls and the stories behind them. I even counted the china in the kitchen (did you know that we have 8,000 salad plates alone?). I know that queens often have to go away on diplomatic missions, but this is really the first time I've been away from home, without a bunch of family and servants.

It snowed again two days ago. People in the village are saying that winter is going to come early this year. Astronomers have predicted that this will be one of the worst winters to date-one for the record books. Everyone's really nervous. Mother told me there was a service at church to pray for a mild winter. On the one hand, hard winters can lead to food shortages and disease. However, the ice up near the poles can't be too thin. Otherwise, the ice harvesters will fall through when they make their camps on the frozen lake. Arendelle does most of its trading through ice. If we don't collect enough ice to last us through at least the spring, we won't have anything to trade with neighboring kingdoms. As for me, I'm hoping for a snowy winter. Because of my powers, I feel more at home amid ice and snow than I do in summer's heat. I like to go sledding and be outside.

I'm really sorry about what happened last night. I really wish there was something I could do. I know how much you love school, and talking to your friends. Unfortunately, you can't study with other children forever. You have to remember that you are a princess, and you have different classes to go to than they do. Geography, Economics, Conversation, and Politics, just to name a few. So, it doesn't really make sense to have you continue to go to the same school you're at.

I know you don't understand. I heard you last night, practically begging Mother and Father to let you stay at your school. I know sometimes things seem unfair, but Mother and Father do everything they do for our benefit. Someday, you'll understand that-just maybe not right now. I drew a picture for you. It's not much, just a sketch, really. It shows you on a sled, sledding down the hill and shouting at the top of your lungs. I hope you like it. I left it in your room when I went in there after dinner. You weren't there, of course. I almost wish you had been. It would have been nice to talk to you and see how you're doing.

I leave early tomorrow morning. You won't be up yet, and I'm not allowed to wake you up to say good bye. Then, I'll be on the road for the rest of the day. Father knows a small town we can stop in for dinner. A few friends of his run a restaurant there, and he wants me to meet them. I don't really know why, but I guess this is supposed to be an adventure and I'm supposed to take things in stride. Goodwill tours are rites of passage for all members of the royal family. Father has fond memories of his. One of his cart wheels got stuck in a deep snowbank and he and his father had to push for nearly an hour to get it out. I'm hoping that nothing quite that exciting happens to us while we're on our trip.

Well, it's too late to go back now. It's too late to write to all the other kingdoms and tell them that we aren't coming. Unless something terrible happens in the next twelve hours, I have to go through this. I'll have to pretend harder than I ever have before that I'm completely normal. I'll have to convince them that I'll be a capable ruler someday, well versed in trade and customs. Who knows? Maybe I'll even convince myself, too.

Mother stopped by to see me a little while ago. She said that she had a present for me, now that I'm 'old enough'. She gave me a golden necklace with a snowflake hanging from it that's been in her family for generations. It was first forged by her great grandfather, who was also an ice bearer. My ice powers didn't just come from that potion, though that's likely why they're so powerful. Ice bearers do exist, although they were a lot more common years ago. There have been ice bearers in our family before, scattered throughout the family tree, but it's obviously not a dominant trait so it doesn't appear very often. Anyway, I asked why she was giving it to me now.

She said that I've grown up too fast and she hasn't had nearly enough time to teach me everything she wants to teach me. Most of all, she said that she wanted me to know that my great great grandfather established the Trade and Commerce law of 1532, which boosted Arendelle's economy. He was one of our country's greatest leaders-and he had the powers of ice and snow. According to her, the lesson of the story is that people can do wonderful things for others, even if they're a little different. Ice bearers can still be great leaders and still remembered in the history books as good people. She confessed that maybe she hadn't treated me like that as I was growing up-that my powers are not something to be feared, but something to be cherished. I wonder if she's right, honestly. All my ice powers have done is hurt people.

I still haven't found out anything new about Misthaven. I've looked in all the history books and studied every map I can find, but I still don't know anything about it. I asked Karl again, but he said that it was nowhere and I shouldn't worry about it. I almost feel like I have a mission now-if he's hiding it, something must have happened there that he doesn't want me to know about. I'm postponing investigations until I get back from the tour though.

I want you to know that I'll be thinking of you while I'm gone. I'll write when I can, and I'll recount every story for you (in a letter) when I get back. Thank you for being such a kind, loving, and compassionate sister. I'm so blessed to have you as a part of my family. I hope we have the opportunity to grow closer together in the future-when it's safe for both of us. Maybe I can't control my powers now, but for your sake I'll never stop trying.

Love,

Elsa

**Next chapter will be in Anna's POV.**


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